Posted tagged ‘Mary’

Mary

August 1, 2014

So here we are in the month of August already. It has been two months since Mary’s fall that fractured her hip up in Utah. We arrived back in LA on June 29.

Physically, she is making good progress. We are taking her for outpatient PT twice a week. She is seeing Amanda  who is the same therapist who was helping her after her shoulder surgery. We take her to church on Sunday and our Bible study meeting on Wednesday morning. We take her to some various lodge activities (mostly where there is food involved, like pot luck suppers, etc). Everyone is happy to see her. They give her hugs. I think she enjoys seeing everyone.

Getting ready to go somewhere with her takes twice as long. Paula has to make sure that she gets dressed. Someone :(either Paula or I) have to help her with her socks and shoes. And off we go to the elevator. Woe unto us if the elevator is out of service. She really can’t handle stairs anymore. Luckily, there are two elevators in the building, but the other elevator is twice as far to walk to. Then load her into the car and fold up the walker and throw it in the back seat. Off we go.

We just received her HP placard for her from the California DMV. That will help in some places. We submitted the paper work to her doctor as soon as we got back to San Pedro. But sometimes the HP spaces aren’t very close or already taken.

So Paula asks her last night before she went to bed. Did you do your exercises? The answer, NO! I’m tired, I’m not going to do them. She was sounding like a child telling her mother “I will NOT take my medicine!”  We tell her, “If you don’t do your exercises, healing will take longer.” Also this morning, she was complaining about arthritis pain. Did you take your meds last night (which includes pain med for arthritis)? Of course not. Paula needs to make sure she takes her meds. She won’t do it on her own. The older she gets, the more child like she becomes.

It is always a struggle to understand what she likes to eat. She has told us that she doesn’t like pasta or pizza. Okay. But then she sees an article in the Sunday newspaper about homemade pizza with fresh tomatoes and anchovies. She decides that she would like to try that. But you don’t like pizza, I tell her. Never mind just do what I ask.

While we’re on the subject of food. We try real hard to set portion sizes such that she finishes everything on her plate. Otherwise we end up having half a dozen left-over plates in refrigerator. We also end up with half glasses of wine (her wine of choice is white zinfandel) and buttermilk. How someone can drink wine and buttermilk at the same time is beyond me. But whatever, if Mary wants buttermilk and wine, then she gets buttermilk and wine. I just wish she would finish it.

So what does Mary like to drink? In no particular order, she likes Dr Pepper (not diet Dr P). We usually get the two liter bottle for her. Buttermilk, White Zinfandel (she usually has a glass at dinner time. The cheap stuff is fine ($7.50 for 2 liter). I doubt that there is such a thing as expensive White Zin) and finally she likes to drink some kind of juice (usually, Cranberry-Apple or something similar.)

She is scheduled next week for a follow up visit to her neurologist. She has hydro encephalitis or water on the brain. Neurologist sees her about every six months. MRI about once a year. She complained to us about why she had to see him, he can’t do anything for me. Which is true. The only solution is surgery and that is not a particularly good option for someone her age. The most noticeable outward symptom is what is called “Old lady shuffle”. Mary has been trying diligently to walk with a normal stride, heel toe, heel toe, heel toe. Here’s and article about the disease. The doctor tells us what to expect as the condition worsens. Problems are motor skills, incontinence, eventually death.

So Paula and I are doing the best we can. Wednesday night was date night. We went out to see a movie without Mary. The movie we saw was “Boyhood“. It was a long slog of 2 hrs 45 minutes. My ass was real sore after sitting through that opus. It was the story of a boy growing up. It was filmed over a 10 year period from age 8 to 18. Good film but way too long.

Next week we have tickets to see a local production of “Guys and Dolls” at the Warner Grand theater in San Pedro. The Warner Grand is a beautifully restored Art Deco theater. Once again, no Mary. She really has a hard time with theaters and uneven floor surfaces. Besides, we need the down time.

Later.

Mary update

July 10, 2014

Time for an update on Mary. It’s been about a week and a half since we arrived back in San Pedro.
 
 First a word about the trip. We got Mary loaded in to the rental car at Jordan Medical Center and headed on up the road to SLC International. I can’t say enough good things about Delta Airlines and the support staff at both SLC and LAX. I dropped Mary and Paula at the Sky Cap station. The Sky Cap got a chair for Mary while we waited for the wheel chair to arrive. Then I headed off to drop off the rental car. The wheel chair attendants at both SLC and LAX were patient with Mary. They made sure that she had an opportunity to use the bathroom. They got us on to the 737 ahead of the rest of the crowd.
 
 One of the reasons we chose Delta rather than American was American flies commuter jets from LAX-SLC while Delta flies either 737 or 757. We figured 737 or 757 would be a lot easier to board. We booked our seats in first class. It wasn’t all that more expensive and it was worth it. Mary didn’t ask how much it cost and I didn’t tell her. Gin and tonic as soon as I sat down in my seat 2B. I could get used to that.
 
 Mary is getting comfortable with using the walker. We’ve cleared out some of the junk in her bathroom so that all of the trip hazards are gone.
 
 We took her to both OceanView Sr. Bible study on Wednesday and church services on Sunday. Everyone was happy to see her.
 
 On Tuesday, Mike, Theresa and Jonathan were over for the usual Tuesday dinner. She looks forward to Tuesday family dinners, especially to a visit with great-grandson Jonathan. Beef stew. Mary has been raving on how good it was.
 
 Sometimes, food can be a challenge. I never quite know what she’s going to like or not like.
 
 This morning while Paula is working at the Assistance League Gift shop, we went for a short walk around the condo. It’s a pleasant sunny 80 degrees.


Paula will likely take her tomorrow to see Rosemarie for a hair wash and set.
 
 We will probably be going to some OES functions this weekend. Receptions, meetings, etc. Usually Mary decides on the day of the event. In sports talk, it’s a game time decision. We try to go over our calendars to keep her aware about our activities. She has trouble remembering stuff, so getting her to write it down in her calendar helps.
 
 For now, any travel is off the radar. We try to keep someone at home all the time. Paula and I managed to get out to an OES meeting on Monday, leaving Mary home alone. As time goes on we will feel more comfortable with leaving her alone. We have California Grand Chapter in late September. We’d like to go to see Roger N. installed as WGP, but we’ll just wait and see.
 
 Later,
 
 Joe
 
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Good News, Bad News

July 2, 2014

Okay, let’s get the good news out of the way first. Mary is doing fine. We took her with us to Ocean View Bible study this morning. She had a little bit of trouble getting into the Jeep. But she managed. Jonathan and his family came over for dinner last night. That always cheers her up. Jonathan saw the ice cream scoop on the counter. And he let us know that he knew what it was for.

Now for the bad news. We heard from a friend that our investment/financial adviser, Rodney Thomas at Morgan Stanley died suddenly yesterday of a heart attack. Another friend had recommended us to Rodney back when I had been laid off from HP/DEC/Compaq in 2008. Rodney is one of the main reasons that we are living comfortably in retirement. He will be missed.

The second bit of bad news is that our tenants at our condo at Tenney Mountain will not be renewing in August. We had thought that they would be staying another year. So now we have to either find new tenant(s) or put the condo back on the market. Here’s hoping that the RE market in New Hampshire has recovered enough so that we can sell the condo without losing our shirts. I expect to hear back from our RE agents soon. Renting the unit is at best a break even proposition. Anyone, looking for a nice 2BR condo in Plymouth, NH let me know.

 

Mary update

June 26, 2014

Yesterday was Wednesday, hump day. We took Mary across the parking lot to the medical building. She rode in a wheel chair, Neil pushed.

The front office people asked way too many questions that we didn’t have the answer to. Driver’s license no., SSN, what drugs is she taking. We said ask the folks in the hospital. PITA.

Eventually we got to see the PA (physician’s asst.) He was a nice young man. Seemed to know his stuff. He had Mary go for a new x-ray. X-ray looked good.

He then had a look at the incision. Healing nicely. He removed all of the steri-strips from the wound.

He gave us Rx’s for pain and anti-nausea, copies of surgical notes and X-ray images on a CD. Also added orders for outpatient PT, a walker.

We’ll schedule follow-up with local surgeon in Pedro in 6-8 weeks. We’ll just use the same doc who did her shoulder back in January.

We had dinner at Neil’s. Neil made mustard, salsa chicken out of a Paleo diet recipe book. Neil is pretty good at cooking. We added Caesar salad and bottle of wine.

Today will be a quiet day. We need to catch up on laundry. Perhaps go to grocery store.

Here’s the picture of Mary that I took after we got back from the Dr. visit.


I am really looking forward to getting home.

Later…

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Picture of Harold & Mary from 1949

June 21, 2014

This morning Paula and I were digging through the piles of mail that Mary had saved over the past few months. (She hardly throws any thing out). We found and old photo of Harold and Mary taken in August 1949. It must have been some important occasion. They are all dressed up and the photo was taken by a professional photographer. There is not much to glean from the photo other than the date and location from the back of the folder. Harold and Mary would have been about 25 years when this picture was taken. Needless to say, Paula was at home with her grandma.

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So here is the photo. Harold and Mary are seated on the left. I don’t know who the other two women are. I will ask Mary when I get a chance, but I doubt that she will remember.

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So I wonder what the occasion was? It must have been important. It’s not a birthday or anniversary. I get the feeling that the Wilton Hotel was a pretty fancy place for dinner.

Here’s a couple of pictures of the Wilton Hotel that I found online.

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More on Mary

June 16, 2014

Time for an update. Paula spent the last five days up in Salt Lake City tending to her Mother. If you missed the previous posts, she fell and broke her hip this past Wednesday.
 
 She was moved to a rehab wing of the Jordan Valley Medical Center on Monday. She in all likelihood be there for the next four weeks. She getting PT twice a day. She can get up and walk with help of a walker.
 
 I picked up Paula yesterday afternoon at LAX. I was so happy to have her home. I was really missing her. I had made three passes to terminal four before I found her. Usually I hang out in the Cell Phone Lot until she calls or texts me. (The cell phone lot at LAX is across from Parking Lot C. You can wait there for free until your traveller arrives. The idea is that your traveller calls or texts when they are at the curb. ) This time she sent the text a little too soon. Sunday traffic at LAX was crazy.
 
 We went to our son Mike’s house in PV for Father’s Day celebration. Hamburgers, hot dogs and beer. Paula gets down on the floor and plays with Jonathan. Jonathan loves his fire trucks. Jonathan is really good at mugging for the camera.


So, back to Mary. I sense there is a bit of depression setting in. She is wondering whether she would ever get home to LA. We keep telling her to do her exercises and it will happen. She is struggling with what God’s plan for her is. We can’t answer her but to say that it’s not your time yet. Stop obsessing over it. It doesn’t do anyone any good. It just deepens your funk.
 
 Indeed, I remember how I felt after my hip surgery in 2009. All I wanted to do was go home. Sleep in my own bed, etc. Perhaps, I can help her through that knothole. Have to work on the short term goals and the long term goal will take care of itself.
 
 So Paula has a week to recover from the trip before we go back to SLC. I volunteered to go with her on this next trip. I would rather stay home and arrange my sock drawer, but she needs me for support. So the sock drawer will have to wait. So we will be up in SLC for a week. After that, we’ll see.
 
 Neil has volunteered to fly with her back to LA when the time comes. That’s a really good idea. She certainly can’t fly by herself. And it will give us a chance to connect with Neil.
 
 So we went grocery shopping today. There are a few adjustments. First, we are buying only for two not three. Second, we are buying things that Mary really doesn’t like (Pasta, for example). Third, we are not buying things that Mary primarily consumes (eg. White Zin wine, butter milk).
 
 Looking on the bright side, this happened in SLC where we have family that can look after while we are not there. It could just have happened in Las Vegas where we know no one.
 
 That’s enough for now.
 
 TTFN,
 
 Joe
 
 – Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:San Pedro, CA

Sunday

June 8, 2014

Today is Sunday. It’s been a long week. We’re staying at a Double Tree in Las Vegas. Nice place to stay. No casino. I despise casinos. Too noisy. We’ve stayed here several times. Getting to know the staff, especially the bartender. We leave this morning headed home to LA. I get to blog while Ms Paula is in the shower.
 
 So Mary is doing better. Paula talked to her on the phone yesterday while we were driving south on I15. She seemed to be coherent. They got her out of bed and into the bathroom to toilet. Removed the Foley catheter. That’s probably a requirement to be moved to rehab.
 
 We talked to the Nurse Practitioner. She said her blood counts were a little low. Probably give her a few units of blood. I swear Mary has nine lives. There have been many folks (East coast and West) praying for her. Thank you all for the prayers.
 
 The news form New Orleans is still not good. Paula’s Aunt Donna is near death. She is suffering end stage colon cancer. Not expected to survive the week.
 
 Did I tell you that it is hot here in the desert? The thermometer in the car read 104 when we arrived yesterday afternoon. Peaked out at 109 driving through the desert north of Las Vegas. We have a room overlooking the pool. No one using it. Too hot.
 

 
 We will arrive home this afternoon. Today’s drive is about 300 miles. We filled up our tank in St George yesterday. Once we get into CA the price of gas skyrockets from $3.50 a gallong to about $4.50 a gallon. We’ll probably stop in Barstow at one of the few Dunkin Donuts in CA.
 
 Paula probably will be flying back to SLC on Wednesday. Gives us time to do laundry. Catch up on mail. Get our Rx’s filled, etc. Dinner with Mike, Theresa and Jonathan on Tuesday.
 
 
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One Long Bad Day

June 5, 2014

Yesterday, was one long damn day. We drove 435 miles and arrived in West Jordan Utah. Downhill from there.
 
 We checked into our hotel and unloaded all of our luggage. Then we went over to Neil’s house. We had a while to wait. Dawn was at the airport picking up her parents. Mary was having her usual glass of White Zin wine. She got up to go to the bathroom.
 
 The bathroom is a small half bath. After she stood up she was trying to straighten up the rug that was somewhat askew. Well she took a fall. We got her up and sat her in a chair with wheels and tried to assess the situation.
 
 She was in a lot of pain, so we called the EMT’s. She was transported to a local ER, where they did X-rays and gave her pain meds. The diagnosis was a fractured left hip.
 
 So then we waited. The orthopedic surgeon was called. ER decided to admit her and ortho would talk with us this morning. Probably surgery sometime this afternoon or evening.
 
 Mary is conscious (never lost consciousness) but very groggy from the pain meds. So we have many questions for the surgeon and hospital. Clearly Mary won’t be able to travel any time soon. We need to figure out how long we will stay up here in Utah. We both only packed meds for a week.
 
 As always prayers are welcome. We will be busy this morning calling her family in Texas and Louisiana. Last night I was busy texting family.
 
 We finally got back to our hotel at 1:30am and to bed.
 
 Update later.
 
 Joe
 
 
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Location:W Center Park Dr,West Jordan,United States

Happy Birthday

January 25, 2014

Friday was Mary’s 90th birthday. She started the day with visits from her Occupational and Physical Therapists (OT and PT). The OT worked with her on getting her shirt on over the injured shoulder and sitting and standing without using her cane. The PT worked with her on her exercises. Mary is seeing improvement in her ability to move her fingers.

After the OT and PT left, we had lunch with our friend Heather from church. She brought her a small arrangement of white roses.

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After lunch, we all took a short nap. Then at 5 PM, Pastor Rich Freeman stopped by for a short visit. He brought some group pictures from a couple of their trips together to Ireland and Turkey/Greece. She insisted on getting dressed up for Pastor Rich’s visit. The visit with Pastor Rich just made her day. Mary was just beaming with joy. Note, the UC Davis sweat shirt on Pastor Rich.

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Mary and Pastor Rich

Then at 6PM Mike and family arrived for dinner of Chili and fresh bread. I got out a fresh bowl of Goldfish for Jonathan. As soon as he saw the Goldfish, he went and pushed his highchair over to the table. His way of saying that he was hungry and I really like Goldfish.

One of our neighbors stopped by to visit. Susan has two Chihuahuas. The two dogs were quite shy. Jonathan didn’t quite know what to do with the chihuahuas. I doubt that he has ever seen dogs quite that small.

Mike and Theresa brought an Oreo ice cream cake from Baskin-Robbins. Another food that Jonathan likes. Mary had room for cake too.

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Everyone loves an ice cream cake

So eventually Mike, Theresa and Jonathan left. We sat down to watch the evening news. Then off to bed. We expect Saturday to be a much quieter day.

TTFN,

Joe

Update on Mary

January 19, 2014

Time for an update on Mary. It’s been a crazy week. I have sent a few folks email updates but I thought I could do a more complete story by writing it once here for everyone to read.

Mary had her shoulder surgery this past Monday. The surgery is called “Reverse Shoulder Replacement“. See the link for more than you ever wanted to know. Apparently there was enough damage to the head of the humerus that it warranted doing the shoulder replacement. The doctor said that if no surgery done, then it would heal but it probably wouldn’t be very useful. Here’s a typical X-ray of a reverse shoulder replacement.

Mary went through the surgery with flying colors. Paula had taken her to the hospital at zero dark thirty. I remained at our condo for our housekeeper to do her work. (She comes every other Monday, and this past monday was her day).

So once Alicia left, I was going to the hospital to visit. Not so fast bucko, dead battery. So I called AAA. They came in under 15 minutes. These days the AAA truck carries replacement batteries with them in the truck. So I had the old battery replaced in under 15 minutes. $99 plus tax and I am on my way. The battery in the jeep was original equipment, six years and 100K miles.

So while Mary was recuperating in the hospital, Paula and I had a date night. We went to see “American Hustle”, then dinner at local Mexican restaurant.

Then on Wednesday, Mary was discharged from the hospital. We got her home and settled in. I think she was happy to be home. Pastor Jacques from Ocean View Baptist Church came to visit Mary that evening.

So for the past few days she has been resting and sleeping a lot. She gets up for meals. Sometimes she will watch the news on TV. Last night at about 6PM, she had a craving for a hamburger. So off I go to the In’n’Out drive thru for a burger and fries (no cheese, no onion). I guess she hasn’t lost her taste.

Ever since her fall on 12/22, she seems so much more frail. It’s like someone flipped a switch and all is gone. One of the home health aides came to talk with us on Saturday. We brought her up to speed on Mary’s recent health history. Probably starting physical therapy at home pretty soon.

Followup with the surgeon next Thursday. She now has got religion about using her cane. Even with the cane, we have to be very cautious. We had a near miss last night. While heading for her seat on the couch, she stumbled and almost fell. Luckily, Paula was there to catch her. Another fall this time would be catastrophic.

We feel that we can’t leave her alone for the time being. So that means finding someone to sit for us.

So when our children were little we had to find a baby sitter so that we could go out and have some time together alone. Now here we are decades later with the same problem. Is there a word for someone you use for watching over your frail parent? Baby-sitting doesn’t feel right, perhaps grandma-sitting or elder-sitting?

TTFN

Joe

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