Posted tagged ‘Mary’

Mother’s Day

May 10, 2020

We started our Mother’s Day celebration early on Saturday. The staff at Regency Palms had arranged to have Mary down stairs where we could greet her through the glass so as to avoid spreading any virus to her or anyone also at the home.

Regency Palms has done a great job making sure that no one gets infected. Many other skilled nursing facilities have not done as well.

So Mike’s family joined us at 1:30 pm. Jonathan and Sarah worked on a greeting card for Mary. Unfortunately, we couldn’t leave it with her. But it is displayed on our refrigerator for all to see.

This is the first time that we have seen Mary for a few weeks. She is looking more frail and wobbly. We are not sure she understands all of the social distancing ideas that we are doing.

After we were done at Regency Palms, we headed home for a late lunch. Mike stopped at In’n’Out for burgers. We stopped at Starbuck’s for some iced coffees. It was really nice to see the grand-kids. We hadn’t seen them since the beginning of the pandemic. It was a nice day.

That’s all for now. Stay safe.

Joe

Friday

April 24, 2020

Today we went out to do some errands. Traffic seemed to be pretty much back to normal. Plenty of cars on the 405. Long trains heading to the port of Los Angeles.

The Nissan odometer hit 11111 miles. We got word from our auto insurer that we will be getting a rebate. Woo hoo! Listening to KUSC, classical radio station

First stop was the ATM, so that we have cash to pay our cleaning lady on Monday.

Then, we headed over to Long Beach to drop off some adult diapers for Mary. We can’t go in to visit until the pandemic is done with us.

Stopped at Stone Age Pharmacy to buy come cannabis for attitude adjustment in the evening.

Time to buy gas for the Nissan. Price for regular was $2.47/gallon. This fill up will probably last until the end of May. Some of you who live back East might not think $2.47 is a great price, but it is here in Los Angeles. In February it was around $3.50

Last stop was In’n’Out burger for lunch. Double-Double with cheese and onions for me. Protein double-double for Paula. One order of fries to share.

Wednesday

April 22, 2020

Here we are on Wednesday. Just another day in paradise. We did our Zoom Senior Bible Study this morning.

Paula received a picture of Mary via email. We haven’t been able to go over to visit. They are on lockdown. Only staff and end of life visitors allowed in.

So the staff did “makeovers” for all the residents. Mary looked outstanding.

Here’s the picture.

Paula found some pictures taken at her graduation from nursing school (c. 1974)

She also found a stash of postcards from her travels back in the day. I will post some of them tomorrow.

That’s all for now. Stay safe.

Joe

Thursday

April 9, 2020

Well here we are on Thursday. Just sitting at home trying to keep busy and not go stark-raving mad. I’m trying to do a blog post every day. First to keep myself busy and not get sick by heading out to shop or something.

It is raining here today in SoCal. It is a pleasant light, soaking rain. As I have said before, the seasons here in Cal are rain, mud, fire and earthquake. We are in the rainy season.

Rain in the planter outside our door.

The more it rains, the less likely their will be fires next summer.

So yesterday we had our Zoom Bible Study. One of our members offered to share face masks that she was making for free. So later in the day Bonnie dropped off a couple of masks for us.

We are feeling incredibly lucky here. We don’t have jobs to lose. We don’t have to go out to work in a grocery store or drive a truck.

Our Social Security payment arrived on Wednesday. It’s scheduled for the second Wednesday of every month. And in April, the 2nd Wednesday fell on April 8th, the earliest we could possibly receive it. May won’t be quite as early. And the stock market seems to be climbing out of the deep hole that it was in. (My retirement fund is in the market.)

We are both reasonably healthy. All of our major surgeries were done last year. I would hate to be looking at to reschedule something like knee surgery. Some of our minor medical appointments have been pushed back until May or June. Dentist is only doing emergencies. I was scheduled for optometry visit to get new eye glass prescription. That won’t happen until June, maybe. And, optometry department at Costco is closed until whenever.

One last thing. Regency Palms is on lock-down so no visits to see Mary. So far, there have no covel-19 incidents at RP. Some other nursing homes haven’t been so lucky. We’ve done FaceTime a couple of times with Mary. She doesn’t have a clue what FaceTime is. But we say hi and wave.

TTFN

Joe

Mary

March 6, 2020
2020-02-23 13.11.59

So we took Mary to church on Sunday. Our plan was to take her to church and  then after church take her back to Regency Palms for their monthly brunch. We managed to get a decent HP parking spot, so she didn’t have to walk very far to get to the elevator.

So everyone was happy to see her. She will smile at you and say hello. But she doesn’t remember anyone. No one. She kind of nodded off a couple of times during the service.

Pastor Jacques greeted her warmly after the service, but she doesn’t remember him. In fact as we drove over to Long Beach, Paula asked her if she enjoyed the church service? Five minutes after we left the church, she had forgotten the whole thing.

Doing the brunch was easier than going to the diner after church because she doesn’t have to decide what to have from the menu. She would stare at menu for 30 minutes until we ordered for her (like a banana waffle or something).

So we got her seated and got her some coffee and some breakfast (French toast and some breakfast sausages). She eats very, very slowly. She can’t carry on a conversation and can usually only answer yes/no types of questions.

As of right now, we don’t take her to OES meetings at night, because the front desk closes down at 7 or 8 pm. And so getting back inside is a challenge. We will only take her out at night if it is an emergency (like a trip to ER). But that usually involves a EMT’s and ambulance.

We probably won’t be taking her out to church again. It’s a struggle to get her their and she just doesn’t remember anything about what happened. If you would like to visit, let us know and we will set it up for you. Pastor Jacques and his wife have been over visit several times.

May Fifth

May 6, 2019

Well yesterday was May 5th. We went to church and then to Pacific Diner for brunch. After we finished brunch we headed over to Regency Palms to visit Mary and drop off clean laundry and pick up dirty laundry.

We also got to meet Mary’s room-mate Sally. (Very nice lady). Of course, Mary was in bed. The care-givers (ladies in green shirts) dropped by to tell us that there was a party up on the roof. So, we all proceeded down to the elevators and went top-side.

So we bundled Mary up in her winter coat. (It’s windy and chilly up there). They have wind shields that help block the wind a but not enough.

They had a seven piece mariachi band playing. There was a buffet of light snacks (Salsa, guac, etc.)

Here are a couple of pictures:

Next Sunday, we will be picking her up to go to Mothers’ Day service at Ocean View. Then lunch at Pacific Diner.

After the Move…

May 4, 2019

Well, Mary has been moved into her new home at Regency Palms on Tuesday. Now, it’s time to talk about what’s next.

Mary seems to be settling in okay. She has a roommate named Sally. Paula met her a couple of days ago. Paula said that she seemed nice.

We are starting to adjust to life without Mary. First change is adjusting out food purchases. Now we are buying for two instead of three. Last night we had a shrimp dish that was very tasty. Mary doesn’t like Shrimp, so we never bought any.

Mary had trouble chewing steaks and chops, so we didn’t get any for her. We would usually cook a burger for her. It’s always been a struggle to figure out what she liked or disliked. We would ask her “What do you want us to get you to eat?”. Never got an answer. So we would just shop and try to keep track of what she would eat or not eat.

We also have a spot in the refrigerator door where we kept the jug of white zinfandel. Not sure what we’re going to put there, but something will find the spot. We would give her 1/2 a glass. Sometimes, she would ask for more, but we would generally refuse. She gets dizzy enough without help from alcohol.

Mary loved watermelon, though she wasn’t eating it so much for the last week or so. Luckily for us, one can buy watermelon already cut up and in a plastic bowl ready to eat. No seeds, no rind, etc.

Going forward, we will begin cleaning out her bedroom. She has some clothes that she hasn’t worn for years. There’s some stuff that is way too big for her. The job probably won’t start until after my knee surgery in June.

Paula will be trying to get over to visit every other day. Pick up dirty laundry. Talk to the staff to find out what she needs.

Sometimes, the condo feels a bit spooky. I keep expecting to see Mary toddling out of her room to sit at the dining room table. Nobody there.

TTFN,

Joe

Done

May 1, 2019

Well the job is done. We have Mary moved in to her room at Regency Palms yesterday. Overall, it went smoothly. Her bed has been made. Clothing stored in her closet and dresser.

We met with the medical folks and other staff people. It felt strange to come home to an empty condo. We’ll be back tomorrow to finish up a few loose ends.

Here are a few pictures:

Mary

April 20, 2019

Time for an update. The process continues. A nurse came to meet Mary and do a report for the admin folks at Regency Palms.

We filled out more forms and went over the medical report that was done by Dr T. We gave her the power of attorney docs. More paperwork. I will likely be writing a big check.

So next step will be to sign the admission document. That will happen next Tuesday. Once that’s done we can schedule the move in. I expect that we will have her moved in by no later than the end of April. Maybe sooner. It looks like that we will be done well before our departure on our trip to Boston in May.

It amazes us all the things that she no longer remembers. For instance, she didn’t remember that she only had one daughter. She didn’t remember that we have been taking care of her for the past 6 1/2 years. She now seems to remember that she was married to Harold. A few weeks ago, she didn’t remember him at all. So sad. Sometimes, she remembers stuff. For instance, on the way home from church today, she pointed out the house that she once lived back in the day. Wow!

A Place for Mary

April 7, 2019

Well the deal is done. We told Mary about our plans for her. We made an appointment to meet with the folks at Regency Palms in Long Beach. We met with one of the administrators for lunch. Here’s a picture of one of the administrators with Mary.

2019-04-06 12.28.33

Jonathan and Mary

We had meat loaf with mashed potatoes and carrots. Mary cleaned her plate and ate dessert too. As usual, she was real slow in eating, but we weren’t in a rush.

After lunch, we took her to her room and gave her a tour. Once that was done we headed down to the office to work on next steps. I gave them copies of her power of atty documents.

Next we got a document to take to her doctor to fill out. Once we get the medical clearance we can do the contract and schedule a nurse home visit.

Once we were sitting in the office conference room, I think Mary finally figured out what we were talking about. The first time that we brought up the subject on Thursday evening, I don’t think she understood what we were talking about.

We had told her that we wouldn’t be able to care for anymore and that we were physically and emotionally shot. Perhaps, she thought that we would be moving out. Who knows? At any rate, it seems that she finally understood it today. But she doesn’t remember any of it today.

Now we get to work signing forms.