Posted tagged ‘Mary’

May Fifth

May 6, 2019

Well yesterday was May 5th. We went to church and then to Pacific Diner for brunch. After we finished brunch we headed over to Regency Palms to visit Mary and drop off clean laundry and pick up dirty laundry.

We also got to meet Mary’s room-mate Sally. (Very nice lady). Of course, Mary was in bed. The care-givers (ladies in green shirts) dropped by to tell us that there was a party up on the roof. So, we all proceeded down to the elevators and went top-side.

So we bundled Mary up in her winter coat. (It’s windy and chilly up there). They have wind shields that help block the wind a but not enough.

They had a seven piece mariachi band playing. There was a buffet of light snacks (Salsa, guac, etc.)

Here are a couple of pictures:

Next Sunday, we will be picking her up to go to Mothers’ Day service at Ocean View. Then lunch at Pacific Diner.

After the Move…

May 4, 2019

Well, Mary has been moved into her new home at Regency Palms on Tuesday. Now, it’s time to talk about what’s next.

Mary seems to be settling in okay. She has a roommate named Sally. Paula met her a couple of days ago. Paula said that she seemed nice.

We are starting to adjust to life without Mary. First change is adjusting out food purchases. Now we are buying for two instead of three. Last night we had a shrimp dish that was very tasty. Mary doesn’t like Shrimp, so we never bought any.

Mary had trouble chewing steaks and chops, so we didn’t get any for her. We would usually cook a burger for her. It’s always been a struggle to figure out what she liked or disliked. We would ask her “What do you want us to get you to eat?”. Never got an answer. So we would just shop and try to keep track of what she would eat or not eat.

We also have a spot in the refrigerator door where we kept the jug of white zinfandel. Not sure what we’re going to put there, but something will find the spot. We would give her 1/2 a glass. Sometimes, she would ask for more, but we would generally refuse. She gets dizzy enough without help from alcohol.

Mary loved watermelon, though she wasn’t eating it so much for the last week or so. Luckily for us, one can buy watermelon already cut up and in a plastic bowl ready to eat. No seeds, no rind, etc.

Going forward, we will begin cleaning out her bedroom. She has some clothes that she hasn’t worn for years. There’s some stuff that is way too big for her. The job probably won’t start until after my knee surgery in June.

Paula will be trying to get over to visit every other day. Pick up dirty laundry. Talk to the staff to find out what she needs.

Sometimes, the condo feels a bit spooky. I keep expecting to see Mary toddling out of her room to sit at the dining room table. Nobody there.

TTFN,

Joe

Done

May 1, 2019

Well the job is done. We have Mary moved in to her room at Regency Palms yesterday. Overall, it went smoothly. Her bed has been made. Clothing stored in her closet and dresser.

We met with the medical folks and other staff people. It felt strange to come home to an empty condo. We’ll be back tomorrow to finish up a few loose ends.

Here are a few pictures:

Mary

April 20, 2019

Time for an update. The process continues. A nurse came to meet Mary and do a report for the admin folks at Regency Palms.

We filled out more forms and went over the medical report that was done by Dr T. We gave her the power of attorney docs. More paperwork. I will likely be writing a big check.

So next step will be to sign the admission document. That will happen next Tuesday. Once that’s done we can schedule the move in. I expect that we will have her moved in by no later than the end of April. Maybe sooner. It looks like that we will be done well before our departure on our trip to Boston in May.

It amazes us all the things that she no longer remembers. For instance, she didn’t remember that she only had one daughter. She didn’t remember that we have been taking care of her for the past 6 1/2 years. She now seems to remember that she was married to Harold. A few weeks ago, she didn’t remember him at all. So sad. Sometimes, she remembers stuff. For instance, on the way home from church today, she pointed out the house that she once lived back in the day. Wow!

A Place for Mary

April 7, 2019

Well the deal is done. We told Mary about our plans for her. We made an appointment to meet with the folks at Regency Palms in Long Beach. We met with one of the administrators for lunch. Here’s a picture of one of the administrators with Mary.

2019-04-06 12.28.33

Jonathan and Mary

We had meat loaf with mashed potatoes and carrots. Mary cleaned her plate and ate dessert too. As usual, she was real slow in eating, but we weren’t in a rush.

After lunch, we took her to her room and gave her a tour. Once that was done we headed down to the office to work on next steps. I gave them copies of her power of atty documents.

Next we got a document to take to her doctor to fill out. Once we get the medical clearance we can do the contract and schedule a nurse home visit.

Once we were sitting in the office conference room, I think Mary finally figured out what we were talking about. The first time that we brought up the subject on Thursday evening, I don’t think she understood what we were talking about.

We had told her that we wouldn’t be able to care for anymore and that we were physically and emotionally shot. Perhaps, she thought that we would be moving out. Who knows? At any rate, it seems that she finally understood it today. But she doesn’t remember any of it today.

Now we get to work signing forms.

Bored & Care

April 2, 2019

Today, Paula and I visited a “Board and Care” facility in Torrance. Board and Care is the name given to non-medical care facility typically provided for  up to six or so seniors typically in a residential setting.

The facility that we visited is in a single family residence in Torrance. This particular B&C is licensed for up to 6 residents. Here’s an outside picture.

2019-04-02 11.45.32

As you can see from the picture, a ramp has been provide for handicap access. Though I wouldn’t want to have to do an emergency evacuation in case of fire.

Pluses

  • Only about 10-12 minutes from our home.
  • Price is $4000 for a bed in a semi-private room. That’s a lot less than some of the other elder care facilities. Price is all inclusive including all meals but not medicine.
  • Nurse Practitioner visits once a week.
  • Facility was clean. No rugs (trip hazard)

Minuses

  • It felt crowded. All of the residents (all five of them) were sitting in worn recliner chairs watching TV (Set was tuned to a “Bonanza” episode on TV-land. I figure that was the total extent of their mental stimulus. It wasn’t even a particularly good TV.
  • Lunch was served while we were there. We were not asked to join them. Menu was sloppy joes and a cup of jello or pudding. It didn’t look particularly appetizing.
  • Not sure how many bathrooms there are. We only saw one. I would assume there would be more, but we just didn’t see them. The bathroom that Mary would use is outside the room and a few feet down the hall. It has handicap access shower and toilet.

Here are a few more pictures. I didn’t want to take any pictures of the living room because there were residents sitting in the chairs.

Bottom Line

This ain’t it. We can afford better.  A lot better. I would be embarrassed to think we put Mary here.

We probably will try to see another couple of board & care’s by Thurday. Make decision by Thursday.

TTFN

Joe

 

A Place for Mom

April 1, 2019

We have decided to start the search for a facility to care for Mary. Paula and I are just running out of gas. We are running out of patience.

We need to be constantly vigilant as to what she is doing and needs to do. She remembers our name (most of the time). For instance, if we were to ask her to do two things. eg. brush teeth, come back out and sit at the table, she would only remember the first task.

With our trip planned to Boston in May and my knee surgery in June, we felt that now was the time to get her into skilled nursing facility that specializes in “memory care”.

We found a placement service aptly named “A Place for Mom” that has been helping us find such a place. The service is free to us. The placement fees are paid by the skilled nursing facilities. There is also an iPhone app. Search for “A Place for Mom” in the app store. BTW, it gets good grades from YELP.

So far we have visited a couple of sites for our consideration. The first one was nice but had a couple of problems. First, it was too far. It is located in Hermosa Beach, which is a 30-40 minute drive up the 110 freeway for us. Price was also a bit high for our taste. It starts with a base price of about $5000 and then adds on fees for meds and other related services.

We figured that our bottom line would be around $7500.

Second one we visited is in Long Beach. This is a bit closer. Probably about 15 minutes. The building was once an office building that had been refurbished into a nursing facility. They made an offer that we might not be able to refuse. They offered first two months for $95 (Mary’s age). The fee is normally a flat fee of $6100. No add-ons. We had lunch with the Memory Care director. Food was very tasty.

Here are a few pictures:

We put a $500 deposit on this place. We have one more place to visit on Tuesday. We’ll see. We should know our path forward by end of next week. We still need to tell Mary about our plans and take her for a tour. Then schedule moving people to move her stuff.