Archive for the ‘Mary’ category

Mary

February 2, 2018

Well, as you all know, we celebrated Mary’s 94th birthday last week. So, today was the time to pay the piper. It was time for Mary’s annual physical.

So a couple of weeks ago, Paula scheduled her physical with her primary care doc. Dr T. had put in all the orders for blood work and urine sample a few weeks ago. Paula took her up to his office a couple of weeks ago to have her bloods drawn. The appointment was for 10 am this morning.

So the good news is that Mary is doing just fine. All blood work was in normal ranges. Her cholesterol is low and without any statin drugs, either. She just hasn’t been sick. We made sure that she got her flu shot a couple of months ago. Have you had your flu shot? Not too late. If we can keep her from falling, she probably will live to be a 100.

2018-02-02 10.00.18So while Mary and Paula were at doctor’s office, I decided to go to Starbuck’s for an iced coffee. Picked it up at the store and found a nice table outside.

The sun was shining. The temp outside was about 70 with a nice light breeze. Not very crowded. A lot of times the place is loaded with people sitting in front of their laptops and coffee. Not today. The place was almost empty.

So I started working on the NY Times crossword puzzle. It was surprisingly easy for a Friday. Finished it in about 15 minutes. Then, I read some of the current book that I am reading (“Darkest Hour”) about Winston Churchill. So at 11 am it was time to head home.

We’ll all be going to lodge tonight for casual dinner with our lodge friends.

TTFN

Joe

Mary

January 28, 2018

I am overdue for a post on Mary. So here we go. This week Mary celebrated her 94th birthday. We managed to persuade her to go to Senior Bible Study at Ocean View.

Side note: We have managed to get her to Sunday services for the past few weeks. First occasion was to see Jonathan perform with the kids Christmas Cantata, then to see Theresa in the adult cantata. Trying to get her in the habit of going to church again.

She hadn’t been going to the Bible study for quite a time now. We had told her that the people there missed her and encouraged her to return. I told her that Betty Walker would be getting her a cake and we would all sing “Happy Birthday” to her.

So we were continually trying to figure out what her problem was with going to Bible Study on Wednesday and services on Sunday. I think that I finally figured it out. She didn’t want anyone to see her all decrepit and walking with the aid of a walker. I told her that several people there used walkers and canes. She wasn’t the only one that was a having trouble with walking stability. It seems to help if there is a reason to go.

So we continued with the celebration this week. Mike and his family came over for dinner on Friday. We got another cake from a local bakery for the occasion. We ordered a banana/whipped cream cake from Amalfitano’s Bakery in San Pedro (a family favorite). It was very tasty.2018-01-26 20.10.20

Mary

October 21, 2017

Sometimes it’s hard to notice the changes when you are together day by day. When you see someone after being apart for a month or two, you notice the changes in a person.

Mary seems to be just a little bit weaker and a little bit slower day by day. Her memory is getting incrementally getting worse. We can tell her something, and five minutes later having the same conversation.

A couple of weeks ago, we had to be out of our condo for the entire day from 8 am to 5 pm for X-rays to be done on the building structure. Told Mary and told her again. Finally we showed her the piece of paper with the notice on it. She began to get it.

All in all, she did pretty good. We went out to a local diner and had breakfast and then to her hair appointment. We then spent the afternoon at our son’s place playing with the grandkids. Mary always likes to see the little ones.

Today, we all went to a park in Torrence to celebrate Jonathan and Sarah’s birthdays (Sept and Oct). We got a handicap parking spot so there wasn’t much of a walk. Mary loves to see all the little ones running around and riding their bikes. We brought a couple of camp chairs for our comfort. So she got some sunshine and fresh air. It was a good day.

Mary

August 25, 2017

Time for an update on Mary. Sometimes, it feels to me that she is going to live forever.

There hasn’t been a lot of change since that last time that I reported here. Perhaps, she is a little bit weaker and a little bit slower. But those things are hard to measure. That being said, here are a couple of stories that I need to get off my chest.

One of the things that is painfully clear is that Mary is not the person that she was say five or ten years ago. Her personality has been changed by the dementia. She has no consideration for anyone else but herself.  Here are a couple of stories from the last couple of days.

Friday is the day that she usually gets her hair done. Oftentimes, people bring tasty goodies to share. So Mary comes home with a couple of pieces of blueberry cake. Are you going to eat those pieces? I ask. No, probably not. She pushes it aside and picks up the OES newsletter that Paula had just put down on the left hand side of her seat at the table to read. I ask Mary, did you not see that Paula was going to read that? I get the stupid look.

We are constantly trying to get Mary to finish the serving of meat that we serve on her plate. Last night, I tried to have her serve herself. The meal was pot roast with potatoes and carrots. My idea was to have her to control the portion size. Not going to work. She asks Paula to serve her some. So again, she doesn’t finish the meat but takes seconds on the vegetables.

I tell her that I had an uncle who was in the US Navy in WW2. He told me when I was young lad that the Navy always told him to “Take all you want and eat all you take”. That’s what I want Mary to do.

And she has room for dessert (watermelon). No matter how much (or how little) I put on her plate she won’t finish the meat. She always has room for watermelon.

Sometimes her complaint is that the meat is too tough to chew. Not the case last night, the pot roast was soft and pliant. She is worse than a three year old who won’t eat his peas. Sometimes, I think she does it just to annoy me.

And another thing, we continue try to figure out is why she won’t go to church on Sunday or Bible study on Wednesdays. She usually says that she is too dizzy. But she is never too dizzy to go get her hair done on Friday. She NEVER misses a hair appointment. NEVER!!

I don’t know whether even she knows why or understands. She just doesn’t want to go. My suspicion is that she has given up on God or that God has given up on her. We’ll never know. She also doesn’t ask that Pastor Jacques come to visit her.

So when I get frustrated with her, I either grab a cigar and go out on the patio or into the office to login to my computer.

At any rate, it’s time to start cooking. Our son and his family are coming over for dinner this evening. Paula says she will be doing a peach cobbler. I suggest to her that means we need some whipped cream. No, she says, vanilla ice cream. We got both.

A Few More Hours…

August 14, 2017

img_5185Time to pack up. We are first going to hit the breakfast buffet, then finish packing. Check out time is noon. We get back into our condo at 5 pm, so we have a few hours to kill before we get home.

Paula will be working at the Asst League gift shop. We will probably get Mary a couch upstairs in one of the offices. I will find an office to do computer stuff.

Well, we got checked out of the hotel. Junior manager came to our room to load up all our belongings and we headed out to the parking lot. Nice guy, he wouldn’t take a tip.

Now hanging at the Asst League. Found out the WiFi password so I can go online. Got Mary settled down on the couch in the president’s office. Now to wait until 5 pm to get back into our condo unit.

Overall, the Double Tree in SP was very nice. Only down side was the WiFi was a little bit dicey. Everything else was 5 stars (out of 5). If anyone is looking for a place to stay when you visit San Pedro, this would be a good choice.

So tomorrow, we need to do grocery shopping and arrange for someone to look at our dryer.

TTFN

Joe

 

The Adventure Begins…

August 11, 2017

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, I’m certainly not. Our condo building is being fumigated for termites this weekend. So we have to vacate the premises starting now until Monday at 5pm.

We spent the day double bagging all of our food in the kitchen including freezer. We’ve taken the opportunity to throw a ton of stuff out and finish up loads of leftovers.

And to add to our misery our dryer conked out. So we’ve got a bag full of wet clothes. As soon as we finished checking in to our hotel, Paula is heading over to a nearby laundromat.

We thought of going to Las Vegas, but decided that would be a bad idea. Mary doesn’t travel well. She’s worse than a three year old child. Are we there yet? Where are we going? Why do we have to do this? Etc. So we got a suite at a Double Tree hotel in San Pedro. Got a roll-a-way bed for Mary. King bed for Joe & Paula.

Tomorrow the exterminator will be tenting the entire building and on Sunday filling up the building with some kind of poison gas. Lovely.

We met with the manager this morning to review our prep work. Then they have to remove the tarps and air the joint out.

Mary has been very confused by all of the commotion. We could have gotten a cheaper place but we’re trying to be comfortable. And we have our three DoubleTree chocolate chip cookies.

We’ll be glad when this is all done with.

Mary

July 20, 2017

Okay, it’s been a while. Here’s my update. Paula and I were having a conversation with Mary last night after dinner. We were retelling our story of how we came to be out here living with her. She listened attentively and she did something that I have been waiting for now for five years. She finally thanked us for being here for her. I called it the big “Thank You”. Of course, she remembers none of this.

The big “Thank You” was one of my issues with her. She would thank me for getting her a cup of coffee or fixing her oatmeal, but never thanking us for giving up our lives in MA and moving out here to be with her. Last night, she finally did that. It only took her five years to do it.

She continues to get weaker and weaker. She sleeps all night, then eats breakfast and then goes back to bed and sleeps until we get her up for dinner. Once in a while she will join us to watch the evening news. She will read the newspaper in the morning and then reread it again in the evening. She doesn’t quite get that it is the same newspaper.

I saw her reading the sports section. I asked her why she was reading the sports section? Mary is not much of a sports fan. Doesn’t care a whit about baseball or basketball. Of course, Paula reminds me to STFU. Let her read the sports page if she wants. So I do.

We struggle to get her to wash her face and brush her teeth. Some evenings, she just goes straight back to bed. We try to get her to do a bath 2 or 3 times a week. That’s Paula’s department.

Paula and I started having the “Nursing Home” discussion. We’re not quite there yet, but we might be there sooner rather than later, especially if she becomes totally bed-ridden and/or incontinent. I talked with my doctor at my physical this week about the situation. He gave me the number of Kaiser’s social worker department. Or perhaps, we will talk to Mary’s doctor.

We are looking forward to a weekend away in first weekend of August for an OES reception up in the Sacramento area. We will have caregivers for the weekend.

I don’t have any good recent pictures of her to post. Perhaps, tomorrow after she has been to the beauty salon to get her hair done, I will take a picture.

Later,

Joe