Posted tagged ‘Aging’

Memories

October 18, 2015

Yesterday, I was sitting with Mary as she ate some lunch. Paula was off doing a silent retreat with the ladies of Ocean View Baptist. So I asked Mary if she would like to go for a walk. We have a nice sheltered courtyard that is nice and flat. Excellent for Mary’s walks. So Mary asks me if she could use her walker instead of her cane. Sure, I say. And I go get the walker. Maybe we will take a trip to a store that sells walkers or other durable medical equipment to find one that might fit her needs.

Now the walker has been sitting in her room gathering dust since we returned from SLC last year after her hip surgery. Over the past couple of weeks, Mary has had a couple of close calls with respect to falls. One happened at church where someone was close by to catch her before she went down. Sometimes, she just gets dizzy and if she doesn’t have something or someone to hold on to, she will fall.

Maybe she is beginning to recognize this and is willing to try the walker again. So we got into a discussion on how she got the walker. She sort of remembered the PT staff giving it to her before she checked out of the hospital. Here’s where it gets fuzzy. She doesn’t remember how she got from the hospital in SLC to our home in San Pedro. So she doesn’t remember that Paula and I flew up to SLC, picked her up, boarded the plane together and flew home, When I told her that we were with her, she gives me a look that says “that’s crazy talk”.

There was another occasion in May of 2013 where Paula took her to her high school reunion in Wichita, KS. I had begged off. I had been to one of these shindigs before and I would rather have my teeth pulled without Novocaine. Of course, you can’t get a non-stop flight from LAX to Wichita. You have to stop somewhere. Trying to explain this to Mary is like trying to explain it to a five year old. So remember this trip was before the hip surgery and shoulder surgery. So one fine day, we are talking with Mary and she mentions that she would like to go back to Kansas. We did, we tell her. When? she says.

So her memory is fading. Everything that happened over the past 4 years is becoming more and more blurry. She remembers some people from her past, but not everyone. There is no logic to it. She remembers stuff from 20 years ago. Short term memory is getting iffy too. Sometimes she will ask what the agenda is for today? I will explain what’s going on and ten minutes later she’ll ask the same question all over again. She doesn’t have any trouble remembering who we are but can’t remember or process what I said ten minutes ago.

So enough. Time for a change of pace. Here a video of “Memories” from the musical “Cats” for your listening and viewing pleasure.

That’s Not Funny

October 5, 2015

So last night, Paula, Mary and I sat down after dinner to watch SNL’s first episode of the  2015 season. As always, it was recorded from the previous night. I don’t remember the last time that I was up that late to watch TV.

So the episode opens with Taran Killam doing his impression of Donald Trump along with Cicely Strong doing an impression of Melania Trump (the current Mrs. T). Okay, I thought it was pretty funny. Paula did too, but Mary not a single tee-hee. Mary sat through most of the episode and didn’t laugh once. I’m not so sure that she knows who Donald Trump and/or why they were mocking him.

Paula says that Mary never had much of a sense of humor. But now whatever sense of humor there was is long gone. Part of the problem is that she doesn’t remember much from what she reads in the newspaper.

So the next skit worth noting is the one where Hillary Clinton has a cameo appearance. Kate McKinnon does her send up of Hillary. Hillary plays a bar tender in an Irish Pub. The scene has Hillary talking with her long time assistant Huma played by Cicely Strong. Even Darrell Hammond has a chance to do his Bill Clinton impersonation. Funny, but Mary didn’t get it..

It’s going to be a fun season for SNL.

Oh and one more thing. Today, Paula and I were doing our grocery shopping. As we were in line at the check-out, the man in front of me (white middle age graying) was commenting to me about the headline in the National Enquirer that stated the Hillary had cancer and would be dead in six months. You believe that, I ask? Maybe, he says. You’d vote for Trump I ask? We need a business manager in the White House. He walked away before I could ask him perhaps a good business manager might be a good thing. Some times I just don’t understand what people see in Trump.

Kaiser Part II

October 5, 2015

It sucks to get old. Let me repeat that. It sucks to get old. Every time I turn around something stops working right.

So this is an update to my saga with Kaiser. I finally got in touch with the sleep study people. Perhaps someone cleared the voice mails out of the system. Good news is that I have an appointment for a new sleep study, bad news it is on Nov 3.

After a few years, I am learning the tricks to deal with them. If one needs an appointment for a sick visit on any given day, call at 7:00 am and ask for an appointment with you  personal care doc. They hold his/her schedule clear to allow same day appointments. They are pretty good at answering emails within a day or so. Sometimes from the doctor, sometimes from his nurse.

I needed to do that last week to get him to look at my ankle swelling. My ankle edema has been under control with drugs the past few years, but has gotten noticeably worse of the last two weeks.

So I get in to see my doctor. Sends me for more blood tests and chest x-ray, His concern was for congestive heart failure. Tests showed no CGF. That’s good news. So Doctor suggests upping the dose of Furosimide to 120 mg/day. We’ll see how that works out.

Mary

September 28, 2015

Time for an update. It seems that Mary has gotten over her intestinal troubles and is back eating a normal diet.

2015-09-27 17.15.12 (2)She had a fairly busy weekend. Today, we started with church service at 10:30. Then we took her to the Ocean View Church picnic at the San Pedro Pistol range. Yeah, I know that sounds strange, but there is a nice picnic area next to the SP Police Pistol range. It’s really a nice area for a group picnic.

Lots of good food to eat. They had a BBQ going where everyone could cook their burgers. Games for the kids, including a bouncy house. We didn’t stay long because we had another event to go to.

So the next event was the Assistance League Fall Luau at the Chapter house. Paula was the lead on this endeavor and she was busy getting things together.

So I was responsible for getting Mary to the event. I got her seated and proceeded to get her a Mai Tai. Lots of excellent Hawaiian food and a Hawaiian uke band. All well done. Started at 4:30 and done by 8:00. On the way home we got to see an excellent view of the blood moon getting to the full eclipse driving east on 8th St in San Pedro. Great ending to a busy day.

Rest easy tomorrow.

Travels with Mary

September 11, 2015

We had planned for a long time to take Mary on a road trip up to Vandenberg AFB in Lompac, CA. It was with fear and trepidation that we undertook the trip. One of the trips last year she managed to trip and break her hip. The reason we were going was for our son Mike’s promotion to major in the USAF Reserve. 

We kept telling her what we were doing and when and how but not much was sticking. Paula asked her on Thursday AM if she needed anything laundered. No she said, but at 9pm she asked to have her PJ’s washed. That ship had sailed. Her short term memory is shot, so she likely won’t remember what we told her yesterday.

So on Friday we get her loaded to go to Rose to get her hair done. Paula got her back home by about noon. Moved Mary from the Prius to the Jeep and Paula came up to finish packing. So we were all loaded and on the road by about 12:30.

We drove for about three hours and stopped for lunch in the small town of   Fillmore, CA (go ahead and Google it) Mexican restaurant by the name of El Pescadero (the fisherman) I had some tasty fish tacos. 

We still had another 3 hours of driving to go. Stuck in rush hour traffic in Santa Barbara. There is some of the most beautiful scenery on earth on the drive on rte 101 up the California coast. So Mary asks, “Are we still in California?” Then we get on the road to Lompoc, which is one ugly stretch of road. Nothing but dirt.

Mary’s all tucked in. No falls, no trips to the ER. We’re good. Tomorrow is another day. I’ll have pictures tomorrow.

TTFN

Joe

Mary

September 4, 2015

 Today was a good day. Paula took Mary to get her hair done at Rose’s in San Pedro. I walked her down to the elevator and waited for Paula to pick her up. On Friday, Mary has a pretty much standing appointment to get her hair done. Paula catches up on all of the gossip/dirt going on in San Pedro. I swear that a hairdresser hears more than a priest/confessor. And she is under no obligation to keep it secret.

So after Mary was done, Paula took Mary to her favorite fast food joint (El Pollo Loco) to get her tortilla soup and a salad. I got a text from Paula asking would I like to join them? I said that I would. Shrimp and chicken enchilada  for me.

We found out that the strip mall where El Pollo is located is undergoing major reconstruction. That meant that parking was a bit of a hike from the restaurant. Mary managed the hike just fine.

I think that the diarrhea has been resolved. Mary is eating better. We are trying to limit her sugar and milk/butter fat. That may be a lost cause. I read somewhere that taste buds in older people degrade over time so that they only can tastes sweet. Anyhow, we are pushing the yogurt. She had been drinking herbal tea instead of coffee which means less caffein. Our grandson Jonathan calls it “purple tea”. It is sort of purple, so purple tea it is. We’ve stopped buying Coke and Dr Pepper.

So Mary was reading the newspaper and read about the LA County Fair. She talked with Paula about going. Paula told her not until you have a lot more stamina or we get a wheel chair. Mary will absolutely not be seen in public in a wheel chair. Besides, the LACF is a two hour ride each way. Add the time spent at the fair, (say a couple of hours) and you have pretty much blown the whole day. We have also told her no trips until you manage to get to church on Sunday and Bible study on Wednesday. Sometimes she needs a gentle (or not so gentle) push to get her to do stuff.

Next week we will be taking her up to Lompoc for our son Mike’s promotion ceremony at Vandenberg AFB. It’s about  three hour drive. We’ll see how that goes. We have a suite reserved for us.

Mary

August 5, 2015

Time for an update. The past two weeks have been hard for Mary. She is growing weaker by the day. Her back pain has eased a bit, but she has been having nagging case of diarrhea. She hasn’t been out except for a few short walks in our courtyard. (Down to the elevator and back.)

She had an appointment with her primary care doc yesterday. It was a struggle to get her down to the car. (elevator and no stairs) Originally, this was for a followup on her back pain resulting from her two falls. But Paula brought up the issue of the diarrhea. We had tried the BRAT diet (Banana, Rice, Apple Sauce and Toast.). The diet wasn’t doing much good. Wasn’t doing her much harm other than making her hungry.

We had hoped the Doctor would do blood tests to make sure she wasn’t getting dehydrated but he didn’t. We have been pushing fluids (mostly juice and water). He prescribed a drug called Lomotil that is used to slow down the flow of food through the intestinal tract. He told her that she could eat anything she wanted. That being said, we will probably make sure that she gets a healthy diet (ie. less sugar, less dairy, etc.)

So she ate a full meal for dinner with our family last night. The Lomotil didn’t seem to do any good. She had another blow out episode. We have been forced to use “Depends” to limit the mess.

This is beginning to suck the wind out of our sails. We are really trying to avoid having to put her in a nursing home but that day is coming we fear. We will probably ramp up the use of home health care so that Paula gets some rest. Paula and I are looking forward to our trip up to San Francisco next weekend. Home care scheduled. Hopefully her diarrhea will have eased somewhat.

Mary

July 28, 2015

And the beat goes on. No new news, just more of the same. I asked her last night whether or not she would be going to the YMCA today. Oh definitely she says. That was then, now is now. She gets up at about 9 am, I ask again, YMCA? No, I don’t think so, my back hurts.

Yesterday, at noon she asks if she can have another pain pill. No we say, you just had one at 10:30 am. Every six hours. This morning she sees an ad in the newspaper for some sort of magic belt that will end all of your back pain. Paula tells here to clip it out and we will ask Dr T at your follow-up appointment next week. We, of course, know the answer. It will be no of course, but she won’t accept that from us. Or we just forget about it and she will not remember it next week.

Just for fun, I looked up the product on Amazon.com. [And no, I am not giving the URL to the product, no free advertising from me.] Of course, you can buy one on Amazon. Remember the days when the only thing you could buy from Amazon was books? So, I found it of course and I went right to the reviews. There were a few five star reviews but mostly one star reviews. I figure that the five star reviews are mostly shills. The one star reviews say save your money.

I think sometimes that she is looking for some magic pill that will turn back to clock a couple of years. She keeps up her hope with words like “When I get better” or “When I start driving again”. We just nod and agree, But we know that’s not happening.

Anyway, it’s been a few weeks since she has been to the Y. For that matter, she hasn’t been making it to church or Bible study. We try to get her up and moving. We try to tell her that laying in bed all day isn’t doing you any good.

The down side is that whenever we go to these events, we have to answer the questions “How’s Mary doing?” The answer is mostly the same only weaker.

She did make it to Shawn and Dena’s wedding reception at LA Harbor Lodge. One glass of wine for her. Mike and Theresa will be over for dinner tonight. Mary will get to see the grand-kids. That will perk her up.

We’ll see whether or not she goes to Bible study tomorrow. I wouldn’t bet on it.

TTFN,

Joe

RIP Bob Ciriello

July 22, 2015

Bob CierelloOn Tuesday, Paula and I attended a memorial service for Bob Ciriello. Bob was one of Harold’s friends and contemporaries. They taught high school together in Long Beach many years ago. We tried to encourage Mary to attend but she would have none of it. It seems lately that she really doesn’t like to going to funerals, wakes and memorial services. So Paula and I end up paying our respects for her.

Paula tells stories of her father and Bob making wine in Bob’s garage.I only met Bob once or twice probably during one of our visits west thirty years ago. Here’s the obit in the Daily Breeze.

The memorial service was a small affair that was held at the South Bay Botanical Garden in Palos Verdes Peninsula. There was a string quartet that played before and after the service. The location was next to the Koy pond. Here are a few pictures that I took. It sort of reminded me of the Arnold Arboretum in Boston. One of these days we will have to go back and spend some more time there.

2015-07-21 11.17.17 HDR 2015-07-21 11.19.04 2015-07-21 12.13.13 2015-07-21 12.13.40

One of the last pieces that the quartet played was a traditional Shaker tune called “Simple Gifts”. Here is a performance by Yo Yo Ma and Alison Krauss for you listening pleasure. I have also downloaded the sheet music from Musicnotes.com for my iPad. So my OES and Lodge friends will be hearing it soon.

HP Access

July 19, 2015

It has been a challenging weekend to say the least. On Saturday, we were scheduled to go up to Rob Morris Chapter in Santa Monica. We strongly encouraged Mary to come along. We didn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone for about eight hours. Our plans were to leave at 2pm. Paula had been asked to do Ruth at an initiation ceremony. So we were committed on going.

We figured it would take us at least an hour to get from San Pedro to Santa Monica. It seemed that everyone in LA was on the 405. Where are all these people going we thought? Certainly not to work on a rainy Saturday afternoon. We were supposed to be there at 3pm for a rehearsal. As it turned out, we were late leaving. It takes a great effort to get Mary ready and loaded in the Jeep. So we arrived at the Masonic Center at about 3:30pm. By the way, we do have an HP placard for Mary.

Here’s where my discussion turns to HP access. We had never been to the Santa Monica Masonic Center before. We were told that there was an elevator and HP parking. So far so good. What we weren’t told was the HP parking was in the back of the building and the elevator was in the front of the building.

There is a back door, but only steep stairs to the 2nd floor where the lodge room is located. So Paula goes on ahead up the stairs while I take Mary around to the front. The walk for her was totally exhausting. If I wasn’t there with her I think she would have just laid down and died. So the lesson learned when checking our HP access. Ask detailed lessons about HP parking and location of elevators and the like.

So I got Mary up to the Lodge room and got her settled so she could recover. We got through the initiation. Normally at one of these affairs there would be a collation or meal at the Masonic center. This time the plan was to go out to a nearby Mexican restaurant. Okay by us, but we neglected to check on HP access. Our bad.

The restaurant was about 5 minutes from the Masonic center. No HP parking but they did have valet parking which is a good substitute. Here’s where the trouble started. Our group had a reservation and our tables were upstairs. NOT GOOD. No elevator. So slowly, very slowly Paula helps Mary climb the stairs. It might as well have been Mt Everest.

We had a nice dinner and good company, but truth be told the food was mediocre. Finished up at 8 pm and headed home. Pulled into the garage at about 9 and put Mary to bed.

Lessons learned: Be specific in asking questions about HP access. It can make a big difference.

Mary got up this morning and had breakfast but she decided not to go to church. Just as well. She needed time to recover from Saturday’s ordeals.

It also gave Paula and I time to talk over the recent events. The subject of a putting Mary in a nursing home came up. We’re not quite there yet. But we are approaching the point where caring for Mary could become more than we can handle. We are going to need to start some contingency planning to identify suitable facilities. We are hoping that Mary recovers somewhat from her pain and her ability to get into and out of bed.

Now we’re off to LA Harbor Lodge Chili Cookoff. We will probably do take-out for Mary.