Archive for the ‘Family’ category

Mary

September 4, 2015

 Today was a good day. Paula took Mary to get her hair done at Rose’s in San Pedro. I walked her down to the elevator and waited for Paula to pick her up. On Friday, Mary has a pretty much standing appointment to get her hair done. Paula catches up on all of the gossip/dirt going on in San Pedro. I swear that a hairdresser hears more than a priest/confessor. And she is under no obligation to keep it secret.

So after Mary was done, Paula took Mary to her favorite fast food joint (El Pollo Loco) to get her tortilla soup and a salad. I got a text from Paula asking would I like to join them? I said that I would. Shrimp and chicken enchilada  for me.

We found out that the strip mall where El Pollo is located is undergoing major reconstruction. That meant that parking was a bit of a hike from the restaurant. Mary managed the hike just fine.

I think that the diarrhea has been resolved. Mary is eating better. We are trying to limit her sugar and milk/butter fat. That may be a lost cause. I read somewhere that taste buds in older people degrade over time so that they only can tastes sweet. Anyhow, we are pushing the yogurt. She had been drinking herbal tea instead of coffee which means less caffein. Our grandson Jonathan calls it “purple tea”. It is sort of purple, so purple tea it is. We’ve stopped buying Coke and Dr Pepper.

So Mary was reading the newspaper and read about the LA County Fair. She talked with Paula about going. Paula told her not until you have a lot more stamina or we get a wheel chair. Mary will absolutely not be seen in public in a wheel chair. Besides, the LACF is a two hour ride each way. Add the time spent at the fair, (say a couple of hours) and you have pretty much blown the whole day. We have also told her no trips until you manage to get to church on Sunday and Bible study on Wednesday. Sometimes she needs a gentle (or not so gentle) push to get her to do stuff.

Next week we will be taking her up to Lompoc for our son Mike’s promotion ceremony at Vandenberg AFB. It’s about  three hour drive. We’ll see how that goes. We have a suite reserved for us.

Mary

August 13, 2015

Not a good day today. Too many balls in the air. Paula had a meeting at the Asst League this morning.

Mary was complaining of pain in her left shoulder. This is the same shoulder that she had surgery on in Jan 2014 after a fall in December 2013. So we dug out the sling from that surgery for her to immobilize her arm. We then called her orthopod for an appointment.

So the appointment was for 11:00 AM. So Paula was tied up for her meeting. That meant I would take her for the Dr’s appointment. After much effort we got her dressed. The only way that I will let her out of the house in her PJ’s is on a stretcher heading to the ER. So Paula got her dressed. And off we go.

Parking at the orthopod is difficult. Certainly no HP slots available. Got a space in the basement garage and got her to the elevator and up to the Dr’s office. So far, so good.

Dr. comes in and talks with Mary and I. He has her try to lift and turn her arm, make a fist, etc. So he schedules X-ray across the street at Little Company of Mary Hospital. It’s a long walk. Certainly more than Mary is capable of, even with a tail-wind. So the nurse loaned us a wheel chair and off we go to LCMH.

Finished the X-ray. Texted Paula with status. Agreed to meet in LCMH cafeteria. We had about 45 minutes to kill waiting for follow-up ortho. By far the worst pizza and french fries I have had in a long time.

So I go to my car and fetch Mary’s purse and hand off to Paula. Ortho says no fracture, rest and take pain meds. Scheduled follow-up in a week. I am not sure what else can be done. Surgery isn’t really an option. Ease the pain and do no harm. Met Paula at the elevator and helped Mary up to our door. She was positively running on fumes.

I thought of taking a picture but thought better of it. You don’t want to see her looking that bad. Better to remember better days.

Well Paula is off to CVS to pick up Rx and a couple of other things. We are so looking forward to a weekend off.  God bless the care-givers.

TTFN,

Joe

Stupid Questions

August 11, 2015

Last night we got a call from our son, Neil. We hear from Neil every now and then. Neil lives in Salt Lake City. Neil works for the local transit authority in SLC. He likes the job. It’s a good job with good benefits. He told us that he will be getting trained to drive the LRV (Light Rail Vehicle) Heavy Rail trains this fall. He will have vacation in November. He probably will come visit us in San Pedro.

So when he calls we usually put the phone on speaker mode so that we all can join in the call. Mary didn’t have anything to say but listened.

So here’s the stupid question. Later, after the call was done, Mary asks Paula “Do you wish Neil was living in San Pedro?”. Well, duh. Yes. But it’s not likely to happen.

This is the sort of thing we get from Mary a lot lately. People ask if she has Alzheimer’s. I usually say that I don’t think so. At least in my limited understanding of Alzeimer’s.. Click here for the Wiki entry. But some sort of dementia?  Yes. Her mind is slowly fading away.

For example, the other day she was feeling lonely. So she told me that she sure would like a puppy dog to keep her company. Those were her exact words “Puppy Dog”. So I ask her “Who is going to take care of a dog?”. Oh, I will she says. So you will take it for walks and pick up the dog poop? Oh, yes she says.

She was sounding like a five year old, begging for his parents to get him a dog. Here’s the women who can barely make it to the bathroom without help, promising to take a dog for a walk. Never mind that a puppy dog would out live her for many years.

Of course, you know exactly who would be picking up poop and feeding the dog. Moi. So I  told her that a puppy dog is not in the plans. Of course, she will forget the entire conversation by today.

A couple more thoughts and then I will shutup. We are coming up on our three year anniversary of our moving to San Pedro.  Three years ago today, we were in Memphis, TN touring Graceland.  Without us, Mary would certainly be in a nursing home. Paula is an only child, so there are no siblings to share the load. 

Indeed, if Mike and Neil were still living in Mass. we would never have moved out here. We would have loaded Mary onto a big silver bird and taken her back east to Mass. But that didn’t happen, did it.

Mary

August 5, 2015

Time for an update. The past two weeks have been hard for Mary. She is growing weaker by the day. Her back pain has eased a bit, but she has been having nagging case of diarrhea. She hasn’t been out except for a few short walks in our courtyard. (Down to the elevator and back.)

She had an appointment with her primary care doc yesterday. It was a struggle to get her down to the car. (elevator and no stairs) Originally, this was for a followup on her back pain resulting from her two falls. But Paula brought up the issue of the diarrhea. We had tried the BRAT diet (Banana, Rice, Apple Sauce and Toast.). The diet wasn’t doing much good. Wasn’t doing her much harm other than making her hungry.

We had hoped the Doctor would do blood tests to make sure she wasn’t getting dehydrated but he didn’t. We have been pushing fluids (mostly juice and water). He prescribed a drug called Lomotil that is used to slow down the flow of food through the intestinal tract. He told her that she could eat anything she wanted. That being said, we will probably make sure that she gets a healthy diet (ie. less sugar, less dairy, etc.)

So she ate a full meal for dinner with our family last night. The Lomotil didn’t seem to do any good. She had another blow out episode. We have been forced to use “Depends” to limit the mess.

This is beginning to suck the wind out of our sails. We are really trying to avoid having to put her in a nursing home but that day is coming we fear. We will probably ramp up the use of home health care so that Paula gets some rest. Paula and I are looking forward to our trip up to San Francisco next weekend. Home care scheduled. Hopefully her diarrhea will have eased somewhat.

Refrigerator Data Center

July 26, 2015

  I don’t know about your home, but at our place the refrigerator is a center of useful and fun information.

First and foremost we keep pictures of our grandkids, both recent and not so recent. There is an occasional newspaper article. 

For example, there is a picture of President Bush speaking with a bull horn at the remains of the twin towers in NYC. Mary put that one up a long time ago. I don’t have the heart to pull it down. It’s gotten brown with age.

  The most recent picture is one of grandson Jonathan with his face painted. How cute is that?

Our refrigerator is loaded with magnetic knick-knacks. Some from well known companies, some from not so well known. Some of them purchased during our many travels. What would we do if the refrigerator makers produced a refrigerator with a non-magnetic surface? It would not be pretty.

We keep current calendars, flyers, tickets and schedules. Info for Lodge, OES, Church and Assistance League. We have bottle openers. One is from the New England School of Bartending. (Given to us by Neil)

We have calendars and more calendars. (Most for the current year) 

The refrigerator is where we put the pay envelope for our housekeeper. She knows that were it will be. She doesn’t even need to ask. It will just be there.

What’s on your refrigerator?

Mary

July 24, 2015

  Time for an update. Mary has had a tough week but she seems to be bouncing back from hole she was in at the beginning of the week. She didn’t want to go to church on Sunday or Bible study on Wednesday. No YMCA on Tuesday or Thursday, either. Her back pain seems to be easing somewhat.

Paula took her for a walk a couple of days ago. The walk was in our inner courtyard (see the picture). This is handy because if she gets tired she can sit and rest on the wall. So she got as far as the elevator. (about 20 yards up and 20 yards back) at the first break in the wall in the picture.) She had to sit and rest four times during the course of that outing.

So today, she felt good enough to get her hair done at Rose’s in San Pedro. Paula was bummed that there was little gossip to be had. I mean really what does one go to your hairdresser than to get up on the latest gossiip? Certainly not to get your hair done :<) Tomorrow will be a quiet day. Paula and I will do grocery shopping. It’s kind of sad that our time alone together is when we get to go grocery shopping. Hopefully Mary will feel up for going to church on Sunday.

In other news, I received a new cable modem from Time Warner. My internet download speeds was beginning to suck big time. Performance is much better. Thank you TWC.

Time to put away the mother hen persona and get out the drill seargent to get her up, dressed and moving.

TTFN,

Joe

Follow-up

July 17, 2015

Last night we decided to take Mary to the urgent care in Torrance. I walked her down to the garage while Paula got the car. Loaded her up and buckled her in and off they went. Our choice was urgent care (open until 8pm) or the ER.

We figured that she wasn’t sick enough for the ER and that would make for a very long evening. It turns out that her Primary Doc was the doctor on duty at the urgent care clinic, which was a good thing. So Paula took off for the urgent care and arrived in plenty of time.

So they did X-rays. No broken bones. She had a nasty looking bruise on her thigh. Doc thought it probably from the first fall in the bath room. So he prescribed some pain killers for her and sent her home. Her primary doctor was very patient with her. We really like him.

Paula and Mary finally got home at about 9pm and we had a light dinner. We then tried to encourage Mary to take a bath. We finally convinced her to do it. We wanted her to soak her feet after having toe nails removed earlier in the week.

So they’re off this moring for Mary to get her hair done. She is still fussing about the pain.

Sometimes in providing care, we need to be combination mother hen and drill sargent. If we would let her, she would stay in bed 23.5 hours a day. The metaphor “good cop/bad cop” also comes to mind.

As Vince Flynn (author of American Assassin) said: “If you’re not busy living, you’re dying.” Bob Dylan said something similar in one of his songs.

Mary

July 16, 2015

Mary has had a tough week. She has had two falls at home at our condo. First one happened on last Saturday in the bathroom. The second fall was on Monday late afternoon.

I talked about the first fall in my previous post. The second fall happened in our living room. When she got up from her sleep in the late afternoon, she only had one slipper on. So she started back to her bed room in search of the missing slipper. She got dizzy looking down at her feet and then lost her balance. Then down to the floor. I was only about 3-4 feet away from her but not close enough to catch her. Luckily, she didn’t hit her head on anything solid. Her head was inches away from the piano.

So I helped her up and got her sitting down on the couch. It seems that there was no serious injury, but we think she might have wrenched her back some what. 

So we didn’t do the YMCA either on Tuesday or Today. She slept most of the day. Woke up at about 4pm. I had to help her to set up on the bed. I told her to sit for a few minutes to get her head straight.

So it was not to be. She decided to lay back down and rest. She seems to be noticeably weaker. I tried to get her to use the walker instead of the cane. 

We’ll see what tomorrow brings. Maybe, Paula can coax her out of bed.

TTFN

joe

Mary

July 12, 2015

I am becoming convinced that the bathroom is the most dangerous room in our house. Let me repeat, the bathroom is the most dangerous room in our house. Not the kitchen, the bathroom.

Mary doesn’t go into the kitchen very much. She might on rare occasions use the microwave. But for the most part, she stays out of the kitchen. But not for that the kitchen would win the award for most dangerous room.

The plan yesterday was for Paula to take Mary to a fashion show at Draper & Damon’s in Torrance. Paula was taking her shower and getting dressed. Mary was getting dressed in her bathroom. She seemed to be taking a long time.

Eventually, Paula went in to check on how things were going. I, for obvious reasons, tend to stay out of her bathroom.

So Mary has a small stool that she sits on while dressing. So she got dizzy while standing up and took a dive. She bumped her head but no serious damage. So Paula helped her get onto her feet. Then finished helping her get ready. And off they went to the fashion show.

When we are walking outside either Paula or I stay by her side and take her left arm. That just doesn’t happen in the bathroom.

I swear the bathroom will kill that woman yet. But not today.

Mary, God and the Conversation

July 6, 2015

So do you remember article in the New York Times that I wrote about a couple of days ago? The one by Eleanor Goodman? Yeah, that one. What you didn’t read it? Go back and read it, I’ll wait. Click here.

Yesterday, I had printed a copy of the article for Paula to read. So the printed copy was sitting on the dining room table. So Mary picks it up and starts reading it. Indeed, she is studying it. Front to back, back to front. Then a few hours later she looked at it again.

So I ask her what she thought about the article. She replies that she is talking with God about that. Okay, Do you think you could share your side of the discussion. No, that’s between me and God. I told her that God might not be sharing your discussion with us and it might be helpful if Mary would talk to us about that. Nope.

So that reminds me of an old joke. There was a great flood throughout the land and a man was sitting on the top of his home waiting to be rescued. So the man prayed to God, “Please God, save me”.

So a while passed and a lifeboat came by and the life boat crew asked him to get in and they would save him. Nope, the man said, “I am waiting for God to save me”.

Then some time passed and there was a Coast Guard helicopter hovering above the man. The helicopter pilot asked the man to get in and be saved. No, the man said, “I am waiting for God to save me”.

So maybe, by this point you know where I’m going with this. Eventually, the man drowns. So he reaches the pearly gates, the man asks God, why didn’t you save me?” And God said, “I sent you a life boat and a helicopter, but you decided not to get in. What was I supposed to do?”

So my point is (and I do have a point) sometimes we have to recognize that sometimes God sends someone to help us. We need to recognize this. Paula and I are the crew of the lifeboat. We just need Mary to get in the boat.