Posted tagged ‘Mary’

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Remember when we talked about…

January 4, 2016

Okay, we started a new year on Friday. On Saturday, we planned to take Mary to the wedding of our friends Stephenie and Jeremy from OES. So we had talked to Mary about this several times over the past couple of weeks. We usually review our calendars with Mary at the beginning of the week. Mary writes things down in her calendar that she keeps in her purse.2016-01-02 18.48.19

So she asks us on Saturday what are we doing today. We explain to her that we will be taking her to the wedding. She says, “Who’s Stetphanie?”. I think we answered that question about four times Saturday. We sometimes make the mistake of starting the comment to her with the words, “Remember, when we talked about…”. When we know full well that she doesn’t have a clue who Stephanie is or for that matter anybody else she might know.

By the way, the picture was taken at the wedding. As time goes on she seems to be having a lot of trouble remembering people that she has known for years. I have this fear that one of these days, she is going to get up in the morning and ask, “Who are you? And what are you doing in my house?”

So we got her to the wedding at St. Peter’s Episcopal Church. I drop off then go park car. The church is right next to the lodge so that one only has to walk down a path to get to the lodge. But the path was dark and a little bit uneven. A dark and uneven path really upsets her. So, Paula on one side on I on the other walk her across the path. All the while telling her that we have you in hand. You will not fall.

I suspect that her world is very confusing. She reads the newspaper every day. Most times three or four times. If we didn’t collect the paper and put it in the recycle bin, she would read it again. She watches the evening news (both local and national). We record it on our DVR, but she has no clue how that works or how to operate it. When they announcers talk about things like the internet, or hacking or social media, I am sure she doesn’t have a clue.

We all had a good time at the wedding, but knew it was getting time to go when I see Mary looking at her watch. When are they going to serve the cake? Not leaving until she gets her cake. Many people stopped to chat with her at our table.

The reception was at our lodge. I suspect that the lighting was disconcerting for her. They had lights that changed colors every few minutes and it was dim. So time goes on. So in 2016, she has started on her 92nd year. We try hard to keep her safe. Whoever said the growing old was easy?

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Categories: Aging, Family, Mary
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Thanksgiving

November 27, 2015

Well another Thanksgiving Day is in the record books. We had a delightful day. Our current tradition is to visit Theresa’s cousin Eric up in Rancho Palos Verdes. it has become a fairly large family gathering. We have children ranging in age from 14 down to 1 years old.

We do it at Eric’s house because he has the largest house available for the occasion. We end up with three tables. One for the seniors (minimum age of 60), one for the little kids, and one for the young adults.

Our contribution to the festivities was wine. I was instructed to bring 4-5 bottles of wine. So I brought two bottles of Beuajolais Nouveau, one of Chardonnay, a Reisling and a Gewurstraminer. I went home with an empty bag.

There are pluses and minuses to going to other people’s homes for Thanksgiving. On the plus side, we don’t have to cook. We just come and bring what we are told to bring. On the minus side, there are no left overs and I have less control over the menu. Like no mashed potatoes or pumpkin pie. But the food was all good. It was a mixture of American and Chinese cuisines.

Mary did pretty good. The terrain is a bit tough for her. Eric’s home has a steep, long driveway. We had to be extra careful. No falls or trips to the ER, thank you very much. We didn’t have any white zin for her so she had to make do with the riesling.

It was fun to watch the little ones play. Jonathan was keeping pretty good. Sarah is improving her toddling skills.

Sarah, keeping up with the big boys.

 

Jonathan’s Yellow Wheels

So the family room had football playing on the big screen. Guests were shooed out of the kitchen. Everyone got some piano playing time. I know enough to bring my iPad so that I have my music. Eric has a beautiful Steinway baby grand. Everyone in the family takes piano lessons.
We were home by 8pm.

1125alice01No dishes to do. Mary was all worn out. She headed off to her bedroom and went to bed. Paula and I sat down to watch Arlo Guthrie perform “Alice’s Restaurant” on PBS. I had recorded it on the DVR so I could skip through the pledge breaks.  Here’s a link to a live recording of Alice’s Restauarant done in 2005. That ditty sure has staying power. The pledge-persons on the LA PBS station seemed to be more annoying than usual, but I could skip over the breaks. Young man in suit and tie, woman of similar age. You couldn’t pick two people more unlike Arlo Guthrie than these two. It was a good concert if you ignore the pledge breaks.

Categories: Family, Mary, Music
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The Chair

November 13, 2015

2015-11-06 15.14.21So we’ve been living with Paula’s mother now for a bit over three years. Sometimes the woman just drives me absolutely crazy. One can’t have an argument with her. Logic just doesn’t work. She can’t remember anything that happened a week or a month ago.

So I asked her the other day, do you know how long we have been living with you? I get a dazed, deer in the headlights stare back. Not a clue.

So a few weeks ago I told her that I wanted to replace the reclining chair in our living room that I usually sit in when we are watching TV. I told her that I have trouble getting up from it. The chair is a combination rocker/recliner. So when one wants to get up, you lean forward and the chair dips low making it difficult to get up. A problem aggravated by my bad knees.

I told Mary that she has trouble getting up, too. No, I don’t she says. Not going to win this argument.

So I told Paula, that we’re getting a new chair with or without her approval. Her only choice is what we’re going to do with the old chair. The old chair can go out with the trash or it can go into her room. To put it in her room we need to make a space. There is much clutter in her room with stuff that she can’t live without. She has a massage table that she wants to keep. It doesn’t matter that she hasn’t used it in years. How do I know that? You might say? Well to use it one would have to take the boxes of stuff off of it. So we managed to move some stuff around and made space for the chair. So last Friday, Paula and I go out to the local LaZ-Boy show room to buy a chair. I am happy. Not sure how we will break the news to Mary.

Then, on Monday, she says “I guess it would be okay for you to get a new chair”. I didn’t want to tell her that we’d already bought the chair and it would be delivered on Thursday. At any rate, the chair was delivered and Mary has forgotten all about the argument. I’m happy. She’s happy (I guess)

By the way, she is doing pretty good. No illness, no falls. She is going pretty slow though. We try to have extra time built into our appointments for her. Two speeds, slow and slower.

We had lunch with Theresa and the grand-kids last Sunday after church. She loves to see the grand-kids. Here’s a picture.

2015-11-08 12.46.28

Mary helping Jonathan with his crayons and coloring.

Categories: Aging, Mary
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Memories

October 18, 2015

Yesterday, I was sitting with Mary as she ate some lunch. Paula was off doing a silent retreat with the ladies of Ocean View Baptist. So I asked Mary if she would like to go for a walk. We have a nice sheltered courtyard that is nice and flat. Excellent for Mary’s walks. So Mary asks me if she could use her walker instead of her cane. Sure, I say. And I go get the walker. Maybe we will take a trip to a store that sells walkers or other durable medical equipment to find one that might fit her needs.

Now the walker has been sitting in her room gathering dust since we returned from SLC last year after her hip surgery. Over the past couple of weeks, Mary has had a couple of close calls with respect to falls. One happened at church where someone was close by to catch her before she went down. Sometimes, she just gets dizzy and if she doesn’t have something or someone to hold on to, she will fall.

Maybe she is beginning to recognize this and is willing to try the walker again. So we got into a discussion on how she got the walker. She sort of remembered the PT staff giving it to her before she checked out of the hospital. Here’s where it gets fuzzy. She doesn’t remember how she got from the hospital in SLC to our home in San Pedro. So she doesn’t remember that Paula and I flew up to SLC, picked her up, boarded the plane together and flew home, When I told her that we were with her, she gives me a look that says “that’s crazy talk”.

There was another occasion in May of 2013 where Paula took her to her high school reunion in Wichita, KS. I had begged off. I had been to one of these shindigs before and I would rather have my teeth pulled without Novocaine. Of course, you can’t get a non-stop flight from LAX to Wichita. You have to stop somewhere. Trying to explain this to Mary is like trying to explain it to a five year old. So remember this trip was before the hip surgery and shoulder surgery. So one fine day, we are talking with Mary and she mentions that she would like to go back to Kansas. We did, we tell her. When? she says.

So her memory is fading. Everything that happened over the past 4 years is becoming more and more blurry. She remembers some people from her past, but not everyone. There is no logic to it. She remembers stuff from 20 years ago. Short term memory is getting iffy too. Sometimes she will ask what the agenda is for today? I will explain what’s going on and ten minutes later she’ll ask the same question all over again. She doesn’t have any trouble remembering who we are but can’t remember or process what I said ten minutes ago.

So enough. Time for a change of pace. Here a video of “Memories” from the musical “Cats” for your listening and viewing pleasure.

Categories: Aging, Mary
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That’s Not Funny

October 5, 2015

So last night, Paula, Mary and I sat down after dinner to watch SNL’s first episode of the  2015 season. As always, it was recorded from the previous night. I don’t remember the last time that I was up that late to watch TV.

So the episode opens with Taran Killam doing his impression of Donald Trump along with Cicely Strong doing an impression of Melania Trump (the current Mrs. T). Okay, I thought it was pretty funny. Paula did too, but Mary not a single tee-hee. Mary sat through most of the episode and didn’t laugh once. I’m not so sure that she knows who Donald Trump and/or why they were mocking him.

Paula says that Mary never had much of a sense of humor. But now whatever sense of humor there was is long gone. Part of the problem is that she doesn’t remember much from what she reads in the newspaper.

So the next skit worth noting is the one where Hillary Clinton has a cameo appearance. Kate McKinnon does her send up of Hillary. Hillary plays a bar tender in an Irish Pub. The scene has Hillary talking with her long time assistant Huma played by Cicely Strong. Even Darrell Hammond has a chance to do his Bill Clinton impersonation. Funny, but Mary didn’t get it..

It’s going to be a fun season for SNL.

Oh and one more thing. Today, Paula and I were doing our grocery shopping. As we were in line at the check-out, the man in front of me (white middle age graying) was commenting to me about the headline in the National Enquirer that stated the Hillary had cancer and would be dead in six months. You believe that, I ask? Maybe, he says. You’d vote for Trump I ask? We need a business manager in the White House. He walked away before I could ask him perhaps a good business manager might be a good thing. Some times I just don’t understand what people see in Trump.

Categories: Aging, Humor
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Mary

September 28, 2015

Time for an update. It seems that Mary has gotten over her intestinal troubles and is back eating a normal diet.

2015-09-27 17.15.12 (2)She had a fairly busy weekend. Today, we started with church service at 10:30. Then we took her to the Ocean View Church picnic at the San Pedro Pistol range. Yeah, I know that sounds strange, but there is a nice picnic area next to the SP Police Pistol range. It’s really a nice area for a group picnic.

Lots of good food to eat. They had a BBQ going where everyone could cook their burgers. Games for the kids, including a bouncy house. We didn’t stay long because we had another event to go to.

So the next event was the Assistance League Fall Luau at the Chapter house. Paula was the lead on this endeavor and she was busy getting things together.

So I was responsible for getting Mary to the event. I got her seated and proceeded to get her a Mai Tai. Lots of excellent Hawaiian food and a Hawaiian uke band. All well done. Started at 4:30 and done by 8:00. On the way home we got to see an excellent view of the blood moon getting to the full eclipse driving east on 8th St in San Pedro. Great ending to a busy day.

Rest easy tomorrow.

Categories: Aging, Mary
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Embassy Suites

September 14, 2015

We just got home from our trip up north to Vandenberg AFB with Mary. We were staying at the Embassy Suites in Lompoc. I will be writing a separate post on the ceremony. This post is about our stay at Embassy Suites. This is a decent hotel. The only meal we had here was this morning. The morning breakfast buffet was outstanding. First class. I’ve been to a lot of hotel buffets in my life. This one beats them all hands down.

The only issue I have is the size of the room and I don’t think there is much to be done about that. We had Mary sleeping on the sleeper sofa and Paula and I had the King size bed in the bedroom. Unfortunately there was only one small bathroom in the bedroom. That meant when Mary got up to use the bathroom at night guess where she went.

On Saturday night she was a bit confused and couldn’t find the bathroom. Often times we bring a night light. Forgot it this time. Oh well.

Of course, she was always cold. I am not turning off the AC. Not going to happen.

Travelling with Mary is getting very stressful. We can’t let down our guard for minute lest she trip and fall. She couldn’t quite figure out why it took so long to get to the restaurants we were going to.  The restaurants are ones that are favorites of Mike’s squadron and aren’t in Lompoc.  And VAFB is very isolated. Intentionally so.

All of the HP accessible locations all worked out very well. She never had to walk much more than 20 feet from car to building. The military folks were very attentive to her needs including getting her a special chair.

Mary, it seems these days, is having trouble making decisions. Paula would offer her a couple or three outfits that she could wear. She just floundered. I think this is probably the last trip she will ever go on. There is no event that I know of that she would know of or want to go to. Certainly not by air. That ship has sailed. At any rate we are glad to be home. Next trip next week to San Diego WITHOUT Mary.

Categories: Family, Mary, Travel
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Travels with Mary

September 11, 2015

We had planned for a long time to take Mary on a road trip up to Vandenberg AFB in Lompac, CA. It was with fear and trepidation that we undertook the trip. One of the trips last year she managed to trip and break her hip. The reason we were going was for our son Mike’s promotion to major in the USAF Reserve. 

We kept telling her what we were doing and when and how but not much was sticking. Paula asked her on Thursday AM if she needed anything laundered. No she said, but at 9pm she asked to have her PJ’s washed. That ship had sailed. Her short term memory is shot, so she likely won’t remember what we told her yesterday.

So on Friday we get her loaded to go to Rose to get her hair done. Paula got her back home by about noon. Moved Mary from the Prius to the Jeep and Paula came up to finish packing. So we were all loaded and on the road by about 12:30.

We drove for about three hours and stopped for lunch in the small town of   Fillmore, CA (go ahead and Google it) Mexican restaurant by the name of El Pescadero (the fisherman) I had some tasty fish tacos. 

We still had another 3 hours of driving to go. Stuck in rush hour traffic in Santa Barbara. There is some of the most beautiful scenery on earth on the drive on rte 101 up the California coast. So Mary asks, “Are we still in California?” Then we get on the road to Lompoc, which is one ugly stretch of road. Nothing but dirt.

Mary’s all tucked in. No falls, no trips to the ER. We’re good. Tomorrow is another day. I’ll have pictures tomorrow.

TTFN

Joe

Categories: California, Family, Mary
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Mary

September 4, 2015

 Today was a good day. Paula took Mary to get her hair done at Rose’s in San Pedro. I walked her down to the elevator and waited for Paula to pick her up. On Friday, Mary has a pretty much standing appointment to get her hair done. Paula catches up on all of the gossip/dirt going on in San Pedro. I swear that a hairdresser hears more than a priest/confessor. And she is under no obligation to keep it secret.

So after Mary was done, Paula took Mary to her favorite fast food joint (El Pollo Loco) to get her tortilla soup and a salad. I got a text from Paula asking would I like to join them? I said that I would. Shrimp and chicken enchilada  for me.

We found out that the strip mall where El Pollo is located is undergoing major reconstruction. That meant that parking was a bit of a hike from the restaurant. Mary managed the hike just fine.

I think that the diarrhea has been resolved. Mary is eating better. We are trying to limit her sugar and milk/butter fat. That may be a lost cause. I read somewhere that taste buds in older people degrade over time so that they only can tastes sweet. Anyhow, we are pushing the yogurt. She had been drinking herbal tea instead of coffee which means less caffein. Our grandson Jonathan calls it “purple tea”. It is sort of purple, so purple tea it is. We’ve stopped buying Coke and Dr Pepper.

So Mary was reading the newspaper and read about the LA County Fair. She talked with Paula about going. Paula told her not until you have a lot more stamina or we get a wheel chair. Mary will absolutely not be seen in public in a wheel chair. Besides, the LACF is a two hour ride each way. Add the time spent at the fair, (say a couple of hours) and you have pretty much blown the whole day. We have also told her no trips until you manage to get to church on Sunday and Bible study on Wednesday. Sometimes she needs a gentle (or not so gentle) push to get her to do stuff.

Next week we will be taking her up to Lompoc for our son Mike’s promotion ceremony at Vandenberg AFB. It’s about  three hour drive. We’ll see how that goes. We have a suite reserved for us.

Categories: Aging, Family, Mary
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Mickey D’s

August 21, 2015

This will be just a short post. Paula took Mary out to get her hair done this morning. This is the first time in a long while that she has felt well enough to go out for anything other than a Dr’s appt.

So, I received a text from Paula around noon asking if she could get me a burger at McDonald’s. I not being one to refuse a free lunch (Mary was paying). said yes. So I told her to get a Quarter-pounder with cheese. So Mary is feeling good enough to go to McDonald s. Let’s see if she manages to digest it properly. If so, we can declare her cured.

So now I remember why I don’t go to McDonald’s. (I haven’t been to a McDonald’s in twenty years.) Their hamburgers suck. I received a piece of meat, slice of cheese, a squirt of ketchup and two pickles on a bun. The meat was probably cooked at dawn and zapped in the microwave.

If I want to have a fast food burger, I would much prefer going to In-n-Out burger. Fresh cooked patty, tomato, lettuce, and onion. It’s a pity that my East Coast friends don’t have In-n-Out in their neighborhood.

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