Archive for the ‘Mary’ category

« calherewecome home page
« Older Entries
Newer Entries »

Thanksgiving

November 27, 2015

Well another Thanksgiving Day is in the record books. We had a delightful day. Our current tradition is to visit Theresa’s cousin Eric up in Rancho Palos Verdes. it has become a fairly large family gathering. We have children ranging in age from 14 down to 1 years old.

We do it at Eric’s house because he has the largest house available for the occasion. We end up with three tables. One for the seniors (minimum age of 60), one for the little kids, and one for the young adults.

Our contribution to the festivities was wine. I was instructed to bring 4-5 bottles of wine. So I brought two bottles of Beuajolais Nouveau, one of Chardonnay, a Reisling and a Gewurstraminer. I went home with an empty bag.

There are pluses and minuses to going to other people’s homes for Thanksgiving. On the plus side, we don’t have to cook. We just come and bring what we are told to bring. On the minus side, there are no left overs and I have less control over the menu. Like no mashed potatoes or pumpkin pie. But the food was all good. It was a mixture of American and Chinese cuisines.

Mary did pretty good. The terrain is a bit tough for her. Eric’s home has a steep, long driveway. We had to be extra careful. No falls or trips to the ER, thank you very much. We didn’t have any white zin for her so she had to make do with the riesling.

It was fun to watch the little ones play. Jonathan was keeping pretty good. Sarah is improving her toddling skills.

Sarah, keeping up with the big boys.

 

Jonathan’s Yellow Wheels

So the family room had football playing on the big screen. Guests were shooed out of the kitchen. Everyone got some piano playing time. I know enough to bring my iPad so that I have my music. Eric has a beautiful Steinway baby grand. Everyone in the family takes piano lessons.
We were home by 8pm.

1125alice01No dishes to do. Mary was all worn out. She headed off to her bedroom and went to bed. Paula and I sat down to watch Arlo Guthrie perform “Alice’s Restaurant” on PBS. I had recorded it on the DVR so I could skip through the pledge breaks.  Here’s a link to a live recording of Alice’s Restauarant done in 2005. That ditty sure has staying power. The pledge-persons on the LA PBS station seemed to be more annoying than usual, but I could skip over the breaks. Young man in suit and tie, woman of similar age. You couldn’t pick two people more unlike Arlo Guthrie than these two. It was a good concert if you ignore the pledge breaks.

Categories: Family, Mary, Music
Tags: , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

The Chair

November 13, 2015

2015-11-06 15.14.21So we’ve been living with Paula’s mother now for a bit over three years. Sometimes the woman just drives me absolutely crazy. One can’t have an argument with her. Logic just doesn’t work. She can’t remember anything that happened a week or a month ago.

So I asked her the other day, do you know how long we have been living with you? I get a dazed, deer in the headlights stare back. Not a clue.

So a few weeks ago I told her that I wanted to replace the reclining chair in our living room that I usually sit in when we are watching TV. I told her that I have trouble getting up from it. The chair is a combination rocker/recliner. So when one wants to get up, you lean forward and the chair dips low making it difficult to get up. A problem aggravated by my bad knees.

I told Mary that she has trouble getting up, too. No, I don’t she says. Not going to win this argument.

So I told Paula, that we’re getting a new chair with or without her approval. Her only choice is what we’re going to do with the old chair. The old chair can go out with the trash or it can go into her room. To put it in her room we need to make a space. There is much clutter in her room with stuff that she can’t live without. She has a massage table that she wants to keep. It doesn’t matter that she hasn’t used it in years. How do I know that? You might say? Well to use it one would have to take the boxes of stuff off of it. So we managed to move some stuff around and made space for the chair. So last Friday, Paula and I go out to the local LaZ-Boy show room to buy a chair. I am happy. Not sure how we will break the news to Mary.

Then, on Monday, she says “I guess it would be okay for you to get a new chair”. I didn’t want to tell her that we’d already bought the chair and it would be delivered on Thursday. At any rate, the chair was delivered and Mary has forgotten all about the argument. I’m happy. She’s happy (I guess)

By the way, she is doing pretty good. No illness, no falls. She is going pretty slow though. We try to have extra time built into our appointments for her. Two speeds, slow and slower.

We had lunch with Theresa and the grand-kids last Sunday after church. She loves to see the grand-kids. Here’s a picture.

2015-11-08 12.46.28

Mary helping Jonathan with his crayons and coloring.

Categories: Aging, Mary
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Memories

October 18, 2015

Yesterday, I was sitting with Mary as she ate some lunch. Paula was off doing a silent retreat with the ladies of Ocean View Baptist. So I asked Mary if she would like to go for a walk. We have a nice sheltered courtyard that is nice and flat. Excellent for Mary’s walks. So Mary asks me if she could use her walker instead of her cane. Sure, I say. And I go get the walker. Maybe we will take a trip to a store that sells walkers or other durable medical equipment to find one that might fit her needs.

Now the walker has been sitting in her room gathering dust since we returned from SLC last year after her hip surgery. Over the past couple of weeks, Mary has had a couple of close calls with respect to falls. One happened at church where someone was close by to catch her before she went down. Sometimes, she just gets dizzy and if she doesn’t have something or someone to hold on to, she will fall.

Maybe she is beginning to recognize this and is willing to try the walker again. So we got into a discussion on how she got the walker. She sort of remembered the PT staff giving it to her before she checked out of the hospital. Here’s where it gets fuzzy. She doesn’t remember how she got from the hospital in SLC to our home in San Pedro. So she doesn’t remember that Paula and I flew up to SLC, picked her up, boarded the plane together and flew home, When I told her that we were with her, she gives me a look that says “that’s crazy talk”.

There was another occasion in May of 2013 where Paula took her to her high school reunion in Wichita, KS. I had begged off. I had been to one of these shindigs before and I would rather have my teeth pulled without Novocaine. Of course, you can’t get a non-stop flight from LAX to Wichita. You have to stop somewhere. Trying to explain this to Mary is like trying to explain it to a five year old. So remember this trip was before the hip surgery and shoulder surgery. So one fine day, we are talking with Mary and she mentions that she would like to go back to Kansas. We did, we tell her. When? she says.

So her memory is fading. Everything that happened over the past 4 years is becoming more and more blurry. She remembers some people from her past, but not everyone. There is no logic to it. She remembers stuff from 20 years ago. Short term memory is getting iffy too. Sometimes she will ask what the agenda is for today? I will explain what’s going on and ten minutes later she’ll ask the same question all over again. She doesn’t have any trouble remembering who we are but can’t remember or process what I said ten minutes ago.

So enough. Time for a change of pace. Here a video of “Memories” from the musical “Cats” for your listening and viewing pleasure.

Categories: Aging, Mary
Tags: , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Mary

September 28, 2015

Time for an update. It seems that Mary has gotten over her intestinal troubles and is back eating a normal diet.

2015-09-27 17.15.12 (2)She had a fairly busy weekend. Today, we started with church service at 10:30. Then we took her to the Ocean View Church picnic at the San Pedro Pistol range. Yeah, I know that sounds strange, but there is a nice picnic area next to the SP Police Pistol range. It’s really a nice area for a group picnic.

Lots of good food to eat. They had a BBQ going where everyone could cook their burgers. Games for the kids, including a bouncy house. We didn’t stay long because we had another event to go to.

So the next event was the Assistance League Fall Luau at the Chapter house. Paula was the lead on this endeavor and she was busy getting things together.

So I was responsible for getting Mary to the event. I got her seated and proceeded to get her a Mai Tai. Lots of excellent Hawaiian food and a Hawaiian uke band. All well done. Started at 4:30 and done by 8:00. On the way home we got to see an excellent view of the blood moon getting to the full eclipse driving east on 8th St in San Pedro. Great ending to a busy day.

Rest easy tomorrow.

Categories: Aging, Mary
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Embassy Suites

September 14, 2015

We just got home from our trip up north to Vandenberg AFB with Mary. We were staying at the Embassy Suites in Lompoc. I will be writing a separate post on the ceremony. This post is about our stay at Embassy Suites. This is a decent hotel. The only meal we had here was this morning. The morning breakfast buffet was outstanding. First class. I’ve been to a lot of hotel buffets in my life. This one beats them all hands down.

The only issue I have is the size of the room and I don’t think there is much to be done about that. We had Mary sleeping on the sleeper sofa and Paula and I had the King size bed in the bedroom. Unfortunately there was only one small bathroom in the bedroom. That meant when Mary got up to use the bathroom at night guess where she went.

On Saturday night she was a bit confused and couldn’t find the bathroom. Often times we bring a night light. Forgot it this time. Oh well.

Of course, she was always cold. I am not turning off the AC. Not going to happen.

Travelling with Mary is getting very stressful. We can’t let down our guard for minute lest she trip and fall. She couldn’t quite figure out why it took so long to get to the restaurants we were going to.  The restaurants are ones that are favorites of Mike’s squadron and aren’t in Lompoc.  And VAFB is very isolated. Intentionally so.

All of the HP accessible locations all worked out very well. She never had to walk much more than 20 feet from car to building. The military folks were very attentive to her needs including getting her a special chair.

Mary, it seems these days, is having trouble making decisions. Paula would offer her a couple or three outfits that she could wear. She just floundered. I think this is probably the last trip she will ever go on. There is no event that I know of that she would know of or want to go to. Certainly not by air. That ship has sailed. At any rate we are glad to be home. Next trip next week to San Diego WITHOUT Mary.

Categories: Family, Mary, Travel
Tags: , , , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Travels with Mary

September 11, 2015

We had planned for a long time to take Mary on a road trip up to Vandenberg AFB in Lompac, CA. It was with fear and trepidation that we undertook the trip. One of the trips last year she managed to trip and break her hip. The reason we were going was for our son Mike’s promotion to major in the USAF Reserve. 

We kept telling her what we were doing and when and how but not much was sticking. Paula asked her on Thursday AM if she needed anything laundered. No she said, but at 9pm she asked to have her PJ’s washed. That ship had sailed. Her short term memory is shot, so she likely won’t remember what we told her yesterday.

So on Friday we get her loaded to go to Rose to get her hair done. Paula got her back home by about noon. Moved Mary from the Prius to the Jeep and Paula came up to finish packing. So we were all loaded and on the road by about 12:30.

We drove for about three hours and stopped for lunch in the small town of   Fillmore, CA (go ahead and Google it) Mexican restaurant by the name of El Pescadero (the fisherman) I had some tasty fish tacos. 

We still had another 3 hours of driving to go. Stuck in rush hour traffic in Santa Barbara. There is some of the most beautiful scenery on earth on the drive on rte 101 up the California coast. So Mary asks, “Are we still in California?” Then we get on the road to Lompoc, which is one ugly stretch of road. Nothing but dirt.

Mary’s all tucked in. No falls, no trips to the ER. We’re good. Tomorrow is another day. I’ll have pictures tomorrow.

TTFN

Joe

Categories: California, Family, Mary
Tags: , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Mary

September 4, 2015

 Today was a good day. Paula took Mary to get her hair done at Rose’s in San Pedro. I walked her down to the elevator and waited for Paula to pick her up. On Friday, Mary has a pretty much standing appointment to get her hair done. Paula catches up on all of the gossip/dirt going on in San Pedro. I swear that a hairdresser hears more than a priest/confessor. And she is under no obligation to keep it secret.

So after Mary was done, Paula took Mary to her favorite fast food joint (El Pollo Loco) to get her tortilla soup and a salad. I got a text from Paula asking would I like to join them? I said that I would. Shrimp and chicken enchilada  for me.

We found out that the strip mall where El Pollo is located is undergoing major reconstruction. That meant that parking was a bit of a hike from the restaurant. Mary managed the hike just fine.

I think that the diarrhea has been resolved. Mary is eating better. We are trying to limit her sugar and milk/butter fat. That may be a lost cause. I read somewhere that taste buds in older people degrade over time so that they only can tastes sweet. Anyhow, we are pushing the yogurt. She had been drinking herbal tea instead of coffee which means less caffein. Our grandson Jonathan calls it “purple tea”. It is sort of purple, so purple tea it is. We’ve stopped buying Coke and Dr Pepper.

So Mary was reading the newspaper and read about the LA County Fair. She talked with Paula about going. Paula told her not until you have a lot more stamina or we get a wheel chair. Mary will absolutely not be seen in public in a wheel chair. Besides, the LACF is a two hour ride each way. Add the time spent at the fair, (say a couple of hours) and you have pretty much blown the whole day. We have also told her no trips until you manage to get to church on Sunday and Bible study on Wednesday. Sometimes she needs a gentle (or not so gentle) push to get her to do stuff.

Next week we will be taking her up to Lompoc for our son Mike’s promotion ceremony at Vandenberg AFB. It’s about  three hour drive. We’ll see how that goes. We have a suite reserved for us.

Categories: Aging, Family, Mary
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Mickey D’s

August 21, 2015

This will be just a short post. Paula took Mary out to get her hair done this morning. This is the first time in a long while that she has felt well enough to go out for anything other than a Dr’s appt.

So, I received a text from Paula around noon asking if she could get me a burger at McDonald’s. I not being one to refuse a free lunch (Mary was paying). said yes. So I told her to get a Quarter-pounder with cheese. So Mary is feeling good enough to go to McDonald s. Let’s see if she manages to digest it properly. If so, we can declare her cured.

So now I remember why I don’t go to McDonald’s. (I haven’t been to a McDonald’s in twenty years.) Their hamburgers suck. I received a piece of meat, slice of cheese, a squirt of ketchup and two pickles on a bun. The meat was probably cooked at dawn and zapped in the microwave.

If I want to have a fast food burger, I would much prefer going to In-n-Out burger. Fresh cooked patty, tomato, lettuce, and onion. It’s a pity that my East Coast friends don’t have In-n-Out in their neighborhood.

Categories: Mary
Tags: , ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

Mary

August 21, 2015

Well we had a wonderful weekend up in San Francisco last week. It was so nice to get away from the stress of caring for Mary. We arranged for the good folks from CarenetLA to take care of Mary while we were gone. We arrived back in San Pedro at about 7:30 pm on Monday.

Just before we left Mary told us that she would be more comfortable with someone there all night. Argggggh, So I talked with the scheduler at Carenet and she managed to arrange the staffing for most of the weekend. It can get expensive, but anywhere close to what a nursing home would cost. Last time I checked, it was in the neighborhood of $10K per month. Ouch.

So, we think that Mary’s intestines are beginning to heal. We have a feeling the the diarrhea was related to the anti-fungal med that she was taking. We have started getting Mary to eat a lot of yogurt. The thing is we were trying to give her plain yogurt. She was not a happy camper on that, so we broke down and got some fruit flavored yogurt.

So now all we have to do is get her to build up her strength. We are planning on going to see the “Dead Sea Scrolls” exhibit at the California Science Center next week. We asked Mary if she would like to come. But we told her that we would need to get her a wheel chair. She said that she was not interested. Sometimes she can be very vain. She doesn’t want to be seen in public in a wheel chair.

Last week she had a pain in her left shoulder. This was the shoulder that she had surgery back in January 2014. So we made an appointment with the orthopedic Doc. He had her move her arm and squeeze his hand. So he scheduled X-rays. X-rays were negative.

She was mad because he didn’t do anything to make the pain go away. Looks the pain is easing somewhat with time.

Tomorrow, we have a visit with her hairdresser (Rose).

Categories: Aging, Mary
Tags:

Comments: Be the first to comment

Mary

August 13, 2015

Not a good day today. Too many balls in the air. Paula had a meeting at the Asst League this morning.

Mary was complaining of pain in her left shoulder. This is the same shoulder that she had surgery on in Jan 2014 after a fall in December 2013. So we dug out the sling from that surgery for her to immobilize her arm. We then called her orthopod for an appointment.

So the appointment was for 11:00 AM. So Paula was tied up for her meeting. That meant I would take her for the Dr’s appointment. After much effort we got her dressed. The only way that I will let her out of the house in her PJ’s is on a stretcher heading to the ER. So Paula got her dressed. And off we go.

Parking at the orthopod is difficult. Certainly no HP slots available. Got a space in the basement garage and got her to the elevator and up to the Dr’s office. So far, so good.

Dr. comes in and talks with Mary and I. He has her try to lift and turn her arm, make a fist, etc. So he schedules X-ray across the street at Little Company of Mary Hospital. It’s a long walk. Certainly more than Mary is capable of, even with a tail-wind. So the nurse loaned us a wheel chair and off we go to LCMH.

Finished the X-ray. Texted Paula with status. Agreed to meet in LCMH cafeteria. We had about 45 minutes to kill waiting for follow-up ortho. By far the worst pizza and french fries I have had in a long time.

So I go to my car and fetch Mary’s purse and hand off to Paula. Ortho says no fracture, rest and take pain meds. Scheduled follow-up in a week. I am not sure what else can be done. Surgery isn’t really an option. Ease the pain and do no harm. Met Paula at the elevator and helped Mary up to our door. She was positively running on fumes.

I thought of taking a picture but thought better of it. You don’t want to see her looking that bad. Better to remember better days.

Well Paula is off to CVS to pick up Rx and a couple of other things. We are so looking forward to a weekend off.  God bless the care-givers.

TTFN,

Joe

Categories: Family, Mary
Tags: ,

Comments: Be the first to comment

« Older Entries
Newer Entries »