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Easter

April 15, 2017
Swan Boats

Boston Swan Boats 

Today is April 15. For most people this is tax day. For us, this is our son Mike’s birthday. We will be celebrating with Mike and his family this evening. Mike got to choose the menu for this evening. He requested beef enchiladas, refried beans and home made apple pie.

On Mike’s 21st birthday, he ran the Boston Marathon. (This year the Boston Marathon will be on Monday April 17th.) After we met him at the finish line, we went out to dinner. Mike drank his first “legal” beer. He had to run back to our car to get his driver’s license to prove his age. Restaurant didn’t ask to see it.

 

Paula baked the pie this morning. We are all resting now to get ready for their arrival. My job has been to take out the trash and empty the re-cycle bin.

Tomorrow is Easter and that means we will be doing brunch after church. We used to go out to restaurants after Easter, but that got a little bit too crazy and expensive. So a couple of years ago, we decided that it would be easier all around to do brunch at home. The kids can play and grownups can talk and drink coffee. We’ll be doing waffles and scrambled eggs with ham.

Ducklings

Ducklings at Boston Public Garden

Paula is all ready for Easter bunny activities. Eggs will be hidden in all the right places. We found a couple of old children’s books, including a well worn copy of “Make Way for Ducklings”. My job is to sit and read to Jonathan. Sarah also likes to sit and watch PBS video on my iPad.

Now about Mary, she is doing well. Her memory is shot. She remembers us, but she can’t remember what she did 20 minutes ago let alone yesterday or last week. We try to control the information flow. We gave her a newsletter from our local Shriner’s club to read. She studied it every day for the past three days. Now it’s time for it to disappear.

We managed to get her to go church last Sunday. Palm Sunday is when our church does its Easter Cantata. I don’t know about getting her to go to Easter services. It’s crowded and parking is a big challenge. In the words of Coach Belichick, that will be a game-day decision. If she decides to not go, then I will stay home with her. We try not to leave her alone. We’ll see what happens.

TTFN

Joe

Categories: Family, Mary
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Deep Dive

March 8, 2017

I just finished scanning about 300 slides that I brought home from the storage locker. I finally got a small scanner for slides. Paula’s Dad, Harold took tons of slide over the course of his life time. Until now, I had no way of scanning, let alone viewing any of the slides.

This batch was in a shoe box. Some were loose, some were in boxes received from the film processor. Some of the slides were dated. Most weren’t. So we have slides from 1952-1954, 1968 and 1979. How the 1979 got in the box is beyond me.

The scanner writes the image to a SD card. Once I completed the scan, I copy the images to my computer. Once done, I throw out the original slide.

Many of the slides are from wilderness areas like Mt Lassen. There are some slides from a parade in the 50’s, maybe Long Beach.

Here are some samples:

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Paula and Mary c. 1968

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Parade c 1958

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Paula on horseback c 1958

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Paula and me, Christmas 1979

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Paula c 1954

Here is a sample of some of the better wilderness pictures (Lassen, Joshua Tree).

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Mary

February 14, 2017

Well, this is getting crazier and crazier. On the second Tuesday of every month, the Assistance League holds it monthly meeting and luncheon. Paula asked Mary if she wanted to go, she said yes. Okay, make it so, number 1.

We made an appointment for Mary to get her hair done at 0830. Mary generally has a tough time for early morning appointments. Last month Mary decided at the last minute that she was too dizzy to go, but that was then, this is now.

So the plan was for Paula to drop her off at 0830, then I would pick her up at 1000 and take her to the Asst League club house. Paula would come out and get her and then I would be free to do whatever.

So Mary gets up by herself at 0730 and we get her breakfast. At 0815, she says she is too dizzy to go and she goes back to bed. Okay, then we cancel the hair appt.

Then Paula jumps into the shower. When she is done at 0900, Mary calls to her. Mary says she feels better and she is ready to go. Of course, she is still in her pajamas. Tick, tock. No, we say, we cancelled your hair appointment. Paula says maybe I can run a brush through your hair. No that won’t do she says. Maybe Joe can take me, she says. No, Joe has already made other plans.

Paula will drop by the hair salon and pay her hair person for the broken appt. I hear that this happens a lot at this salon. They have a lot of senior clients.

So I am off to get the oil changed on the Jeep and then a hair cut. Starbuck’s is next to the barber shop. How convenient.

Needless to say, this won’t happen next month.

TTFN

Joe

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Grandkids

February 5, 2017

One of the true joys of our lives are our grandkids. Jonathan (5) and Sarah (2) were over to visit yesterday. We were watching them while Mike and Theresa an afternoon for a nice lunch. The kids are quite used to seeing us. No tears when Mom and Dad left the premises. 

While the parents were gone, Paula had the kids help her make Valentine cookies. The recipe was a basic sugar cookie recipe. So Paula has a few cut outs in shapes of bows and hearts. After cookies were baked, the kids got to put the icing on them. Always fun to watch the artists at work.

So once the cookies were done it was play time. The picture show the collection of toys that the kids have stored at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. One of these days we will have to get rid of some of the toys that they no longer play with.

So Mike and Theresa got back at about 3:30 pm. Time to start working on dinner. We had roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy and baked carrots. Cookies (of course) and ice cream for dessert. Always fun to have the family for dinner. Mary always loves seeing the kids.

Today (Sunday) we persuaded Mary to go to church. This was the first time in about three months. We promised her that we would do brunch at “The Admiral Risty” in Palos Verdes to celebrate her 93rd birthday. We told her no church, no Admiral Risty. The bait worked.

Super bowl Sunday seemed like a good day to go to the restauarant. Lots of open tables. Not nearly as crazy as Easter or Mother’s Day

The Admiral Risty has a great view and great food. I made the reservation using the “Open Table” app while sitting in the pew at church. I had a seafood omelet. Ate half, the rest will be for tomorrow’s breakfast.

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Mary

January 26, 2017

2016-12-13-11-00-40Tuesday was Mary’s 93rd birthday. We decided to celebrate by taking her out for lunch at Hof’s Hut in Torrance. She was eager to go. No complaints of dizziness this time. When it’s something that she really wants to do, the dizziness will magically disappear.

Hof’s Hut was one of the places that Paula and her parents went to celebrate anything and everything. Paula tells me the story of going there as a little girl and eating a burger and the juice would dribble down he arm.

So what was interesting about this event? Well, Paula and I noticed another example of the onset of the dementia that has slowly but surely taking hold of Mary. The restaurant was busy and we had to wait for 10 minutes or so for a table.

Once we were seated, the waitress handed us all menus. The waitress took our drink orders. Mary wasn’t too sure what she wanted to drink. So we ordered the same thing that we were going to have. So Paula and I decide what we wanted and put the menus down. Mary is still studying the menu. Waitress comes by and asks are we ready to order. “Give us a few more minutes” we tell her.

The menu was information overload for Mary. Paula jumps in and makes a suggestion. There are so many things in our lives that are taken for granted in our lives. Tasks and functions that to us that are so easy and straight forward. For example, using a telephone or turning on the television. We do it with the ease of pushing a couple of buttons, but for Mary we might as well be talking about walking on the moon. And as time goes on it just gets worse for her.

Her trouble with the menu was just another example of her slide down the oh so slippery slope of dementia.

By the way, she had scrambled eggs with sausage and a cranberry muffin. She enjoyed the meal.

Categories: Family, Mary
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Dad

January 6, 2017

Today is the 50th anniversary of my father’s death. My brother Rich sent me a copy of a prayer card that he had been carrying in his wallet all these years. I had one word for him “Wow”. Rich, put that back in your wallet and bring it out ten years from today.2017-01-05-13-50-27

My father died of heart disease way before his time. Back then, they didn’t have any good treatments for heart attacks. My father had his first heart attack when he was about 56. He was in the hospital for a few days. He was sent home and told to rest. But that didn’t kill him. 

He was born in February of 1901 in Western Massachusetts. He married my mother on March 3, 1946. My guess is they waited until the end of WW2. Interesting bit of trivia. March 3 is also my birthday (2 years later).

In November of 1966, he went in to the hospital for gall bladder surgery. He survived that surgery but had complications, internal bleeding. So the surgeon scheduled another surgery to fix the leak(s). The second surgery did the trick, ie. it killed him. Cardiac arrest on the table. He was revived but never regained consciousness. He was on life support for about 6-8 weeks.

So I have already outlived my father by about 3 years so far. My Dad never got to see me graduate from college or get married. He never had the joy of meeting his grandchildren.

Sometimes I wonder whether I have my father’s genes or my mother’s. My mother lived to be 89. I’m hoping that I have my mother’s genes. Just sayin’.  Rest In Peace, Dad.

Categories: Dying, Family

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Happy New Year

January 1, 2017

hny

Well, how’d that happen. Here we are in a new year. Nice, new and spiffy.

So first, an update on Mary. She continues to do well. We celebrated the new year last night with a bottle of champagne. I asked her if she thought she would make it to a new year? All I got was a shrug and a meh. Mary had a half a glass of the champagne. Paula and I finished the rest of the bottle. Didn’t want it go to waste. Sure was tasty.

We continue to be watchful of her condition. Yesterday, she had a nasty dry cough. So Paula gets out here trusty stethoscope and takes a listen to her lungs. That cough could turn into pneumonia in a heartbeat. If Paula were to take her to urgent care, yesterday would have been the day to do it. Urgent care closed today, so she would have to do the ER. But there were no sounds of pneumonia so never mind.

We have a follow up scheduled with her neurologist in a couple of weeks to discuss her recent MRI. We’ll see how that goes.

So this morning, Mary was up at her usual time at about 9 am. Instead of her usual oatmeal, Paula cooked her a scrambled egg. Paula offered her toast. Mary says, “What kind?” Well we have either sour dough or rye. She then says I don’t like either. I tell her that she doesn’t usually eat bread so we don’t get the kind of bread that she likes. She was looking at me with her “Why can’t you read my mind?” look. So, white bread is on the shopping list.

We asked her this morning if she wanted to go to church. The answer is still no. It seems that her mind gets stuck into regular routines. She will go out to get her hair washed and set at the beauty salon. She will go with us to OES meetings. But she won’t do church or Bible study on Wednesday. She uses her dizziness as an excuse, but I think there is a hidden issue that either she won’t or can’t verbalize. So Paula goes to church on Sunday, while I watch football (How about those Patriots?). And I go to the Bible study on Wednesdays. So what will I do once the football season comes to a close? Right, baseball is right around the corner. Spring training starts end of February. Woo-Hoo! Go Red Sox.

2016-12-31-18-47-47So we had an early Christmas with Mike and his family. They were heading up to the SF bay area to visit some of Theresa’s family, then to Reno for fun in the snow. It was fun to watch video of Jonathan taking his snow boarding lesson. He still hasn’t quite figured out the brakes yet. The kids seem to be enjoying the snow.

Starting in January, we are going to start scheduling regular caregiver visits so that Paula and I can get out for a date. Dinner and a movie or something similar. We will initially start doing it every other week and see how that works.

In other news, work continues on our condo complex. They are working on redoing the planters that are in the court yard between units. The planters are being reworked with plants that deal better with drought conditions. They are also working on resurfacing the upper walkways. Roofing is also being replaced. This means that weekdays can be pretty noisy and sometimes dusty. Here are a couple of before and now pictures.

 

But we have had rain on and off the past few days. We really need the rain. We got about 0.5″ yesterday. All work has stopped. That means it is now blissfully quiet. Alas, the rain just delays the work. Probably will restart on Tuesday with a vengeance.

Categories: Christmas, Family, Mary
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Mary

December 5, 2016

img_4861Time for an update. Mary has been doing pretty well the past couple of weeks. She has been going to physical therapy twice a week. It seems to help a little bit. She still complains of dizziness, especially in the mornings. For that reason, we try not to schedule anything for her early in the morning.

Last week she was complaining of a pain in her side and a dry cough. Seeing as she hadn’t fallen any time recently, so that kind of ruled out a broken rib. Paula took her to her urgent care doctor to get it checked out. Doctor T. seemed to think it was pleurisy (an inflammation of the pleura, the lining of the lung). Click here for more info on pleurisy. He prescribed an antibiotic for the infection and med for the cough. It seems that she is feeling much better. We don’t know how she got it or why, nor does it particularly matter.

On Friday, Mike and his family came over for dinner. Mary is always happy to see the grand-kids. She loves to see the little ones. It always puts a smile on her face.

We took her with us on Saturday to my lodge installation of officers. We will be going to our OES meeting tonight. She is happy to see all of the people she knows.

Our stress level has been increasing of late. We try not to leave her alone for any length of time. So either Paula or I stay with her. So that rules out going to the movies or shows. We look forward to doing the grocery shopping because that means we have about an hour alone together. We have been using caregivers for the longer trips but that can be a challenge for short time events like a date to go to the movies.

I have finished my annual Christmas letter. I have been doing it now for about 20 years. I just have to finish putting postage on the letters, sealing and dropping in the mailbox. This year the list has grown to about 140 of our nearest and dearest friends from Maine to California.

I don’t know if I will get out another post before Christmas. If I don’t, then I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my readers a Happy Christmas and a prosperous New Year.

TTFN

Joe

Categories: Family, Mary
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Thanksgiving

November 24, 2016

2016-11-23-12-12-26It is time to reflect on all that we are thankful for this year. First and foremost, I am thankful for my lovely wife, Paula. She has been my partner now for 38 years. She has been by my side through thick and thin, good and bad. I don’t know what I would do without her.

Second, we are thankful that our son and his lovely wife live near by along with their (oh so cute) children. When we made the decision to move to California five years ago,  if they had not been living here, we probably would have stayed in Massachusetts.

In that case we would have moved Mary, kicking and screaming back to MA to live with us.

So what about Neil? Our other son, Neil, lives in Salt Lake City, Utah. SLC is a lot closer to LA than it is to MA. We get to see Neil from time to time. No grandchildren from Neil yet. Sigh. Maybe some day?

We are also thankful that Paula’s mother Mary is alive and healthy. She has reached the ripe old age of 92, bless her heart. Lord grant me the patience to deal with her. She can be a pain in the butt sometimes. We  have managed to keep her safe. No broken bones. Our goal has been to keep her out of a nursing home. And in that goal, we have been successful. We make sure that she gets fed and takes her meds.

We have a good home. We live in a condo that is well suited for elder care. We have no stairs (ie. all on one level). No trip hazards. We have an elevator that takes us to our parking garage. It’s big enough for all three of us to live comfortably.

So what about Thanksgiving? Needless to say, this is a decision that is way above my pay grade. The site of our feast wasn’t settled until a few days ago. In the past few years, we have gone to Theresa’s cousin Eric in Rancho Palos Verdes. Eric has a house that can easily host a large crowd, ranging in age from infant to 90ish. Eric’s wife Nikki said that she didn’t want to do it this year. We can’t do it, not enough space. Best we can do is have total of eight for dinner.

So it was decided to do it at Uncle Min’s house (also in RPV). Not quite as big as Eric’s place, but it will do. Uncle Min is part of Theresa’s extended family. Thanksgiving dinner is always an interesting blend of American and Chinese cuisine. Also, Uncle Min has a piano (and that is a good thing), so I will be bringing my iPad to play. We always enjoy seeing the extend family that we generally only see once a year.

And finally, thank you to all of the folks who read my rantings on my Blog. I originally started writing this blog to reach my friends who didn’t do Facebook. It has grown to so much more than that. This blog along with Facebook allows me to keep in touch with so many people that we have met over the years. I have been told that back in the day, people wrote letters on paper with a pen.

Anyhow, I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.

 

Categories: Aging, Family
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Mary

September 19, 2016

Well, its been a busy couple of weeks. On Sunday, we asked Mary if she wanted to go to church. She of course wanted to go, but when it got to be game time (ie. Time to hit the road) she decides to pass. Too dizzy she says. Actually, that made our life a little bit easier. Paula went to church and I went to the grocery store to pick up a couple of things. Then, to the bakery to pick up the cake for Sarah’s birthday.

Oh right, I forgot to say, yesterday was Sarah’s 2nd birthday. The family arrived at 12 noon on the dot. Little Jonathan, rushes in and announces, “Sarah is two!!”. Then Sara and Jonathan see the presents wrapped on the table, and Jonathan asks, “Is this for me?” He sees the Transformer wrapping paper which is definitely telling. Well maybe, we say. We’re not opening presents just yet.


It’s time to eat brunch. And then we have a birthday cake for Sarah. It was a banana creme cake from Amalfitano’s bakery in San Pedro with figure of Minnie Mouse on top (Sarah’s fave). Of course, Jonathan’s birthday is coming up in October (and he knows it). And he will tell you that is will be five. (And holds up 5 fingers)

Jonathan’s gift was a black Jeep truck. He was ecstatic. The anti-theft packaging was a pain. I needed to get out a screw driver to release the truck from the packaging. ARGHHl He knows that Grandpa drives a black Jeep (which he calls the “Jeep Truck”). Whenever we go somewhere he looks for it.

So let’s get back to the subject of Mary. We have her doing physical therapy twice a week. We still have her using the walker. She grumbles about that every now and then but uses it. We tell her if you don’t use it, you will fall and get hurt. (And perhaps kill you.) We don’t actually say that but I think that she knows. She continues to sleep a lot during the day.

Yesterday was a particularly busy day for her in that after the birthday party we took her to Shriner BBQ at LA Harbor Lodge. Her husband Harold, was very active in the Shriners. I got her a glass of White Zin to lubricate herself. Then Paula got her a steak and some salad. After dinner, there raffles of door prizes. I won a bottle of Johnny Walker Black. Made my day.

We don’t understand why she keeps blowing off going to church. One thought is that she is dizzier in the morning but she doesn’t complain about going to PT at 9:30 AM. Another thought that we have is that she doesn’t to have other people seeing her as old and weak. Who knows? We just go with the flow. If you want to go, then fine, If not, fine.

Categories: Aging, Family, Mary
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