Posted tagged ‘Dementia’


August 25, 2017

Time for an update on Mary. Sometimes, it feels to me that she is going to live forever.

There hasn’t been a lot of change since that last time that I reported here. Perhaps, she is a little bit weaker and a little bit slower. But those things are hard to measure. That being said, here are a couple of stories that I need to get off my chest.

One of the things that is painfully clear is that Mary is not the person that she was say five or ten years ago. Her personality has been changed by the dementia. She has no consideration for anyone else but herself.  Here are a couple of stories from the last couple of days.

Friday is the day that she usually gets her hair done. Oftentimes, people bring tasty goodies to share. So Mary comes home with a couple of pieces of blueberry cake. Are you going to eat those pieces? I ask. No, probably not. She pushes it aside and picks up the OES newsletter that Paula had just put down on the left hand side of her seat at the table to read. I ask Mary, did you not see that Paula was going to read that? I get the stupid look.

We are constantly trying to get Mary to finish the serving of meat that we serve on her plate. Last night, I tried to have her serve herself. The meal was pot roast with potatoes and carrots. My idea was to have her to control the portion size. Not going to work. She asks Paula to serve her some. So again, she doesn’t finish the meat but takes seconds on the vegetables.

I tell her that I had an uncle who was in the US Navy in WW2. He told me when I was young lad that the Navy always told him to “Take all you want and eat all you take”. That’s what I want Mary to do.

And she has room for dessert (watermelon). No matter how much (or how little) I put on her plate she won’t finish the meat. She always has room for watermelon.

Sometimes her complaint is that the meat is too tough to chew. Not the case last night, the pot roast was soft and pliant. She is worse than a three year old who won’t eat his peas. Sometimes, I think she does it just to annoy me.

And another thing, we continue try to figure out is why she won’t go to church on Sunday or Bible study on Wednesdays. She usually says that she is too dizzy. But she is never too dizzy to go get her hair done on Friday. She NEVER misses a hair appointment. NEVER!!

I don’t know whether even she knows why or understands. She just doesn’t want to go. My suspicion is that she has given up on God or that God has given up on her. We’ll never know. She also doesn’t ask that Pastor Jacques come to visit her.

So when I get frustrated with her, I either grab a cigar and go out on the patio or into the office to login to my computer.

At any rate, it’s time to start cooking. Our son and his family are coming over for dinner this evening. Paula says she will be doing a peach cobbler. I suggest to her that means we need some whipped cream. No, she says, vanilla ice cream. We got both.


January 26, 2017

2016-12-13-11-00-40Tuesday was Mary’s 93rd birthday. We decided to celebrate by taking her out for lunch at Hof’s Hut in Torrance. She was eager to go. No complaints of dizziness this time. When it’s something that she really wants to do, the dizziness will magically disappear.

Hof’s Hut was one of the places that Paula and her parents went to celebrate anything and everything. Paula tells me the story of going there as a little girl and eating a burger and the juice would dribble down he arm.

So what was interesting about this event? Well, Paula and I noticed another example of the onset of the dementia that has slowly but surely taking hold of Mary. The restaurant was busy and we had to wait for 10 minutes or so for a table.

Once we were seated, the waitress handed us all menus. The waitress took our drink orders. Mary wasn’t too sure what she wanted to drink. So we ordered the same thing that we were going to have. So Paula and I decide what we wanted and put the menus down. Mary is still studying the menu. Waitress comes by and asks are we ready to order. “Give us a few more minutes” we tell her.

The menu was information overload for Mary. Paula jumps in and makes a suggestion. There are so many things in our lives that are taken for granted in our lives. Tasks and functions that to us that are so easy and straight forward. For example, using a telephone or turning on the television. We do it with the ease of pushing a couple of buttons, but for Mary we might as well be talking about walking on the moon. And as time goes on it just gets worse for her.

Her trouble with the menu was just another example of her slide down the oh so slippery slope of dementia.

By the way, she had scrambled eggs with sausage and a cranberry muffin. She enjoyed the meal.


May 29, 2015

Today is Friday and that generally means an appointment for Mary at Rose’s Hair Salon in San Pedro. So I helped Mary walk down to the elevator and then into the Prius. She seems to always need someone holding her arm when she walks. The dizziness is not getting any better.

I took her to the YMCA on Tuesday. She did her time on the tread mill and exercise bike.

We will probably be going to Mariner’s night at LA Harbor Lodge tonight. That means that we don’t have to cook tonight.

Memory is gone. She still remembers our names, but she couldn’t remember our grandson Jonathan’s name or how old he is.

We keep on keeping on.