Another day in the life of caring for an ninety year old woman. Best laid plans and all that. Paula and Mary planned to attend a luncheon meeting for Assistance League. Assistance League is a charitable organization of women run by women. Starts at about 10am and runs until about 1:30pm. So I have about 3.5 hours of free time.
So off I go to vote. Polling place pretty much deserted at 10am. I vote and head for Starbucks. I have a dark roast and cranberry scone. Delicious. I have a few minutes of peace and quiet.
Now back to the election. CA sent out flyers that explained in gory detail all of the ballot questions. Arguments for and against. I hung on to them, knowing that Mary would want to study them. She wrote some notes but loses the notes. She can’t remember the details from one day to the next.
Mind you the questions are complicated and would stress out a normal person with reasonable intelligence. So this morning Mary studies the information and writes some notes. So far so good.
So Paula and Mary arrive home at about 1:30pm. Did you vote? I say. Paula yes, Mary no. She wasn’t ready. So I ask her was she planning on voting. Yes she says. I groan. That means that someone (probably me) will have to take her back to the polling place later. And it would have to happen before 5pm.
She eventually gave up and went back to bed for a long afternoon nap.
And by the way, she had another fall on Saturday night. She got dizzy and fell. Luckily no damage done. She couldn’t get up without help. We were planning on taking her to the Demolay installation. So Paula got her undressed and put her to bed to rest.
TTFN…
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Archive for the ‘Family’ category
Election Day
November 4, 2014Travels with Mary
October 20, 2014On Saturday Paula, Mary and I drove up to Visalia to attend the OES Grand Chapter Installation of our good friend Roger Nieder as Worthy Grand Patron. Visalia is about 200 miles north of San Pedro in California’s central valley. We usually do a rest stop about half way. This time we stopped for lunch in Gorman which is just about at the north end of the Grapevine.
Normally we would have gone for the entire grand chapter session but that would have been too much for Mary to do. (Us too.) We have to be constantly watching her to keep her from falling. She has graduated from the walker to using a cane.
So she moves oh so slowly. We try to have someone on her arm with the cane on the other arm. All it would take would be one bump from someone to knock her over. She has this idea in her head that she eventually will be able to ditch the cane. We tell her your PT person told you that you will always need a cane. She of course doesn’t remember any of this. She also thinks that someday she will be driving again. I don’t think so, Tim. Our constant answer is “We’ll see about that.”
So we were staying in one room at a Holiday Inn (more on the hotel later) in Visalia. We would have loved to have the privacy of one room for us and one room for Mary, but we learned the lesson back in June that she needs to be closely supervised.
It has been incredibly stressful for Paula and I to be constantly on guard with her especially in an unfamiliar environment and in crowds. The risk of a fall is ever present.
So the installation started at about 7:30 PM. We had plenty of time to rest up for the event.
(l-r) Mary, Shawn Donahue (Sr Grand Deacon), and Paula
Roger Nieder, Worthy Grand Patron
So we had a great time with no visits to any ER’s along the way. We arrived home on Sunday at about 3:00 PM after about a four hour ride.
Now about the hotel. We stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. Room was comfortable but there were so many little faults that made to stay less than acceptable.
1. They tried to put us in a room that hadn’t been cleaned. That meant that Mary stayed with Paula while I went back to the front desk to get our room changed.
2. Coffee maker didn’t work.
3. WiFi credentials didn’t work. Not that it matters much. Usually my cell phone data is faster than hotel WiFi. Never seen hotel Wifi much faster than 1 Mbps.
4. Desk chair was broken.
On the plus side, they had a decent restaurant with a decent breakfast buffet. We ate there on Sunday morning before we left.
The list goes on and on. I expect hotels (even budget hotels) to take care of the little things. There are plenty of other budget hotels to choose from that do take care of them. We won’t be staying there again.
We are trying to get back to doing “Date Night” again. Next Thursday, we have tickets to see the play “The Trip to Bountiful” with Blair Underwood and Cicely Tyson up in Downtown LA. Just the two of us. Sometimes just going shopping together seems like a date together.
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Shrine picnic
September 29, 2014Yesterday we attended the annual picnic of the Beach Cities Shrine Club at LA Harbor Lodge. This is an annual event where the Al Malaikah Potentate visits. Al Malaikah is the Los Angeles affiliate of the Shriners. Shriners run children’s hospitals across the country for either burn cases or orthopedic injuries or diseases in children.
So our son Neil who is down from Salt Lake City visiting for the week, joined us at the picnic. Here is the view from LA Harbor Lodge. It was a beautiful clear day in San Pedro. The view is of LA Harbor. One can almost make out the mountains across the bay. Temperature was in the mid-seventies.
So we had a conflict. Our church was having their annual picnic. But we decided to do the Shrine event. The shrine was doing steaks, corn on the cob and beer. Also, the venue was a lot easier for Mary. We often choose events on how fall-safe the venue is.
Mary had a great time. The bar was stocked with her favorite white zinfandel. She had two glasses, which for her was one glass too many. Luckily she wasn’t driving. We made sure one of us was on each side of her.
Mary got to see a lot of old friends that she doesn’t often get to see. There was a drawing for many prizes to raise money for the hospital.
So Paula wins a bottle of Johnny Walker Black. Not too shabby. I would drink it, but Paula doesn’t care for Scotch. So one of the brothers who won a bottle of rum asked if we would care to swap the scotch for the rum. Seeing as we both don’t care for rum that much, we said no. But, we said, if you swap the rum with the person who won the bottle of Tanqueray Gin, we would swap the scotch for the gin. So the deal got done. Everybody was happy.
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News from out West
September 13, 2014Time for an update. It has been 3.5 months since Mary’s accident up in Salt Lake City. She is doing amazingly well. She is doing physical therapy twice a week. The therapist has been working on balance issues. She has started transitioning from the walker to a cane (the kind with four prongs at the base for additional stability). She uses the cane only at home.
So physically she is doing fine. Mental issues are a different story. Short term memory is a problem. She will ask me in the morning what day it is. I tell her today is Saturday. Oh she says. Are we going to PT today? No that was yesterday.
We are working hard on getting her to eat a healthy diet. If we weren’t her that would certainly not be happening. Sometimes though it is a struggle to figure out what she likes and doesn’t like.
So she went with us last night to Eastern Star meeting at Lomita. I was filling in playing the piano for the chapter. Everyone was happy to see her and she them. It is often a struggle to get her out, but it is worth it when we do. It’s the initial struggle to get her started that is the problem. Once we get her moving she is fine. Overall, she is doing pretty good for 90.
I seem to be seeing pictures of our friends back east wearing coats and jackets. So I guess it’s starting to get cold. It’s been in the 80’s all last week here in San Pedro. It’s been up in 100’s out in the desert. I still have a coat in the closet. I don’t expect to use it this winter either. It’s been almost three years since the last time I put the Jeep in 4-wheel drive. I seem to remember seeing an ice scraper in the back of the Jeep. Haven’t used it either.
We are planning on driving up to Visalia for our friend Roger’s installation as Worthy Grand Patron for the Grand Chapter of California on October 18th. We asked Mary if she would like to go. She said yes, so we will drive up on Saturday (in October) and return the following day. Installation is on a Saturday evening.
Our daughter in law in do to give birth to our second grand-baby this week. The baby is expected to be a girl and her name will be Sarah. We are very excited. We love being grand-parents. I will be posting pictures as soon as they are available.
Apple announced new iPhones and the Apple Watch on Sept 9th. I have pre-ordered an iPhone Six Plus with 128Gb. I ordered the first day orders were allowed. I wasn’t nearly fast enough. Expected delivery is not until November. Sigh. I heard that orders for initial delivery sold out in minutes. Luckily, I don’t have to pay for it until it ships. Paula gets the iPhone 5S and I’ll try and find a home for the iPhone 4S that she is using now. I will post pictures and a review once I get the new phone.
So you are probably wondering, Joe what about the Apple Watch? I am not getting an Apple Watch. I haven’t worn a watch in years. With an iPhone in my pocket, why do I need an iWatch? I would be wearing a watch that screams out “STEAL ME!!!”. Not going to happen.
Our son Neil will be coming down from SLC to visit for week later this month. We are looking forward to his visit.
That’s all the news that I can think of from Pedro. Stay warm (or cool) as the case may be.
TTFN
Joe
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Sophie’s Big 2
September 7, 2014Today we attended the birthday for Sophie, Sophie turned two. She is the grand-daughter of our friends John and Chris Coil who live up in Davis, CA. The party was held at a nice park up in Santa Monica.
For my east coast friends, Santa Monica is a community about 10-20 miles west of downtown LA. We get there by taking the 405 north and then the 10 west. It is about a 45-60 minute drive from San Pedro. No big deal on a Sunday morning. Traffic was light and no delays. More about the party later.
So we had talked about meeting our friend Roberta at the Long Beach Greyhound station. I screwed up in not looking at text message detail from the previous night. Roberta had decided no to come. So no big deal, we would continue on to Santa Monica.
We were up early this morning to get ready. Of all the Sundays that Mary K didn’t go to church, she decided that she had to go to church today. We had told her about the party weeks ago. Of course, she didn’t remember anything about the conversation. She never remembers. So she tells us that she would call a cab. We ask do have money for that? Do you have phone number for cab company? So we decide to take her to church and drop her off. We called one of her friends to ask her to give her a ride home. I made sure that Mary had her cell phone and her house keys. So far, so good. I reminded her how to call me. I have speed dial set up on her phone. All she has to do is push the number 2 for 5 seconds.
Okay back to Santa Monica. Santa Monica has been in the news back in Boston over the last few days. Dunkin Donuts will be opening new restaurants on the West Coast. The first one was opened this past Tuesday in Santa Monica. So we think great, we’ll stop by and get an iced coffee and a donut. I load up the address on my GPS on my iPhone and off we go. We arrive at the address on Wilshire Blvd. Line is out the door and around the block. No DD iced coffee today. I reset the GPS to the park address and we continue on to the party. We’ll eventually get to a DD out here once the hoopla dies down. For the time being however, there’s Starbucks.
Santa Monica is also famous for being the location where Whitey Bulger hung out while on the lamb from the FBI for many years. By the way the unit went on the market recently.
Sasha and Zach (Sophie’s parents) had provided us with bagels and coffee and other treats. I found out that little Sophie likes cream cheese but doesn’t care for the bagel. So she had licked all of the cream cheese off of the bagel and didn’t eat the bagel. Good for a laugh.
There were lots of little kids at the party, the oldest probably about three or so. Lots of infants too.
So at about noon, I get a phone call from Mary. She had arrived home from church. She had gotten inside the perimeter door but couldn’t find the key for the condo door or couldn’t open the door. Now I know for sure that the key is on that key ring. Paula and I try to describe it to her. Eventually one of our neighbors helped her open the door. So we now have a couple of action items. Get some graphite to lubricate the lock and mark the key with some finger nail polish.
We never seem to be able to predict what kind of predicament that Mary can manage to get herself in. All of our best efforts to prepare for any eventuality are fraught with peril.
Here are a few pictures from the party.
Boston Cream Pie
August 25, 2014In the Spring of 1978, we had bought our first house in Billerica. Paula and I were dating and we were pretty much thinking about marriage. So at that time, Paula was spending most of the time at our house in Billerica. But she still had her apartment in Brookline.
So in June or July, (I don’t quite remember which). I asked Paula if she would marry me. So she immediately said yes. Thence started the wedding plans.
So you’re thinking, what has this have to do with Boston Cream Pie? Read on. So Paula called home to Harold and Mary and broke the news. Lucky for us there was no Caller-ID at that time. If there were, the display would have displayed “Billerica, MA”.
So we set a date of October 7, 1978, the day after her birthday. That was good for me because, it would mean I could likely remember both dates.
Harold and Mary then made plans to come out to visit us in Boston. This meant that Paula decided to temporarily “move” back in to her place on Beacon St for the duration of their visit. I sort of think, that Harold knew what was going on but whatever. We allowed the charade to continue.
Paula acted as tour guide to Harold and Mary, while I went back to work at DEC.
So your saying, “What about the Boston Cream Pie?”. I’m getting to that. Well we decided to have a fancy dinner to celebrate our upcoming nuptials. We decide that the occasion called for going to a fancy-shmancy place. So we booked reservations for the Ritz Carlton dining room on Arlington St in down Boston. At the time, the Ritz required men to wear jacket and tie, women dresses. No T-shirts and jeans. Very fancy. Valet parking and all that.
My brother Rich and his wife Mary joined us for the occasion. So we had a total of six for the dinner. At this point it is important to understand the seating arrangement. Paula was NOT sitting next to Harold. Harold was on his own.
So the time came for us to order dessert. So Harold orders Boston Cream Pie. Harold loved pie. He didn’t care so much for cake. If Paula were to have sat next to Harold, she would not have let him order Boston Cream Pie. But order it he did. So then and there Harold discovered to his dismay that Boston Cream Pie was a cake, not a pie in the common understanding.
I wish I had a picture of Harold’s face when he saw the plate arrive. What’s this he says?
If you are not from around the Boston area, you might not know what “Boston Cream Pie” is. Here is the pointer to the article on Wilipedia. Next time you are in Boston, by all means try the Boston Cream Pie.
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Good Gravy
August 23, 2014Okay, this is part story about cooking for our family here in San Pedro and part how to make gravy.
Long ago before I met Paula, I learned how to cook a turkey. In 1973, I was working for Raytheon in Houston Texas as a sort of high-tech gypsy installing systems for the FAA. I was away from home for the first time and my room-mate and I thought we ought to have a Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings. So I called home and asked Mom how it was done. So from that day forward, I made the Turkey.
So many years later, our family had flown out to San Pedro for Thanksgiving one year. We were there a few days before Turkey day, and we were discussing what to do for Thanksgiving. Mary was all for making reservations. Paula and I told her that wasn’t going to happen. We said we don’t do Thanksgiving in a restaurant. We offered to do the cooking. And so it began.
Our first challenge was to find a liquor store that sold Beaujolais Nouveau. Beaujolais Nouveau hits the market every year in November. But most of the grocery store hadn’t a clue what we were talking about. Eventually we found a few bottles. Now we were ready to get properly medicated for the event.
The next challenge was to clear off the dining room table. Over the previous few months, mail had accumulated to the point of becoming a huge pile. Harold and Mary weren’t accustomed to having a large group for dinner. So we started on the table.
I don’t think that Mary had been doing much cooking in that kitchen. We discovered on Thursday morning that the kitchen sink was clogged. Just imagine for a minute how hard it might be to find a plumber on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Can’t be done. We eventually got the sink unclogged with a plunger and the meal went off without any further hitches.
Paula and I tend to cook together often. Sometimes, I do all the cooking. Usually she has me do the oven roasts (beef, turkey, lamb, etc.) One time, just after we had arrived here two years ago, Mary complemented Paula on a fine meal. Paula says, ahem, Joe cooked that. Oops. She now pays more attention to who is doing the cooking. So last night, she complemented me on the Shepherd’s Pie. She cleaned her plate and had more today reheated for lunch. There is no better complement than to see someone licking the plate after the meal.
Now on to the gravy. Last night I was working on my version of Shepherd’s Pie. I started with three different recipes and kept the parts of each recipe that I liked. One recipe called for brown gravy. Browned the ground beef and time to make gravy.
For Shepherd’s Pie you need about a cup of gravy. Start with two Tablespoons of unsalted butter. Not margarine, BUTTER. The real thing. Never mind the cardiologist who going into fits.
Melt the butter in a small sauce pan over low heat. When the butter is completely melted, slowly stir in 2 tablespoons of flour with a whisk, stirring constantly. At this point you should have a nice smooth concoction. Measure out about 1 cup of beef broth. (If you are making chicken gravy, use chicken broth). Add about 2/3 cup into the mixture, continue stirring. As it thickens you will likely need to add more liquid to get the right consistency thickness. One can always make thick gravy thinner. Making thin gravy thicker is a bit of a problem.
Need more gravy? Just start with proportionally more butter, flour, and liquid. Process is the same. Add whatever flavoring suits you. For the Shepherd’s pie, I added a couple of tbsp’s worcestershire sauce, and a couple of tbsp’s of ketchup. Sometimes, I use gravy master. Adds flavor and makes the gravy a bit browner.
Jonathan Drops In
August 5, 2014Yesterday, Paula and I were out doing grocery shopping. I get a call from Theresa asking could they come over to hang out while her car was being serviced? Sure, I say. We will be by to pick you up in about 20 minutes.
So we pull up to the auto mechanic garage. Paula starts to load the car seat in the back of the Jeep. Jonathan is none too happy with the situation. I think he was afraid that Mom was shipping him off with us without her.
So he calms down when he sees Theresa getting in to the Jeep with us. So off we go. When we got home, we load the groceries into a cart. Jonathan likes to push the grocery cart. So we let him push while I gently guide the cart in the right direction.
Next step is for Jonathan to push the button for the elevator. Jonathan loves to “drive” the elevator.
So we go into our condo, and out come the toys. We got a new toy helicopter for Jonathan and Jonathan likes it. I tried to get pictures but tough to hit a moving object. He is also getting the hang of the hobby horse.
Mechanic calls at 4pm to tell us car is ready and off we go again. Grandchildren are so much fun.
Meatloaf for dinner tonight.
Later…
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Mary
August 1, 2014So here we are in the month of August already. It has been two months since Mary’s fall that fractured her hip up in Utah. We arrived back in LA on June 29.
Physically, she is making good progress. We are taking her for outpatient PT twice a week. She is seeing Amanda who is the same therapist who was helping her after her shoulder surgery. We take her to church on Sunday and our Bible study meeting on Wednesday morning. We take her to some various lodge activities (mostly where there is food involved, like pot luck suppers, etc). Everyone is happy to see her. They give her hugs. I think she enjoys seeing everyone.
Getting ready to go somewhere with her takes twice as long. Paula has to make sure that she gets dressed. Someone :(either Paula or I) have to help her with her socks and shoes. And off we go to the elevator. Woe unto us if the elevator is out of service. She really can’t handle stairs anymore. Luckily, there are two elevators in the building, but the other elevator is twice as far to walk to. Then load her into the car and fold up the walker and throw it in the back seat. Off we go.
We just received her HP placard for her from the California DMV. That will help in some places. We submitted the paper work to her doctor as soon as we got back to San Pedro. But sometimes the HP spaces aren’t very close or already taken.
So Paula asks her last night before she went to bed. Did you do your exercises? The answer, NO! I’m tired, I’m not going to do them. She was sounding like a child telling her mother “I will NOT take my medicine!” We tell her, “If you don’t do your exercises, healing will take longer.” Also this morning, she was complaining about arthritis pain. Did you take your meds last night (which includes pain med for arthritis)? Of course not. Paula needs to make sure she takes her meds. She won’t do it on her own. The older she gets, the more child like she becomes.
It is always a struggle to understand what she likes to eat. She has told us that she doesn’t like pasta or pizza. Okay. But then she sees an article in the Sunday newspaper about homemade pizza with fresh tomatoes and anchovies. She decides that she would like to try that. But you don’t like pizza, I tell her. Never mind just do what I ask.
While we’re on the subject of food. We try real hard to set portion sizes such that she finishes everything on her plate. Otherwise we end up having half a dozen left-over plates in refrigerator. We also end up with half glasses of wine (her wine of choice is white zinfandel) and buttermilk. How someone can drink wine and buttermilk at the same time is beyond me. But whatever, if Mary wants buttermilk and wine, then she gets buttermilk and wine. I just wish she would finish it.
So what does Mary like to drink? In no particular order, she likes Dr Pepper (not diet Dr P). We usually get the two liter bottle for her. Buttermilk, White Zinfandel (she usually has a glass at dinner time. The cheap stuff is fine ($7.50 for 2 liter). I doubt that there is such a thing as expensive White Zin) and finally she likes to drink some kind of juice (usually, Cranberry-Apple or something similar.)
She is scheduled next week for a follow up visit to her neurologist. She has hydro encephalitis or water on the brain. Neurologist sees her about every six months. MRI about once a year. She complained to us about why she had to see him, he can’t do anything for me. Which is true. The only solution is surgery and that is not a particularly good option for someone her age. The most noticeable outward symptom is what is called “Old lady shuffle”. Mary has been trying diligently to walk with a normal stride, heel toe, heel toe, heel toe. Here’s and article about the disease. The doctor tells us what to expect as the condition worsens. Problems are motor skills, incontinence, eventually death.
So Paula and I are doing the best we can. Wednesday night was date night. We went out to see a movie without Mary. The movie we saw was “Boyhood“. It was a long slog of 2 hrs 45 minutes. My ass was real sore after sitting through that opus. It was the story of a boy growing up. It was filmed over a 10 year period from age 8 to 18. Good film but way too long.
Next week we have tickets to see a local production of “Guys and Dolls” at the Warner Grand theater in San Pedro. The Warner Grand is a beautifully restored Art Deco theater. Once again, no Mary. She really has a hard time with theaters and uneven floor surfaces. Besides, we need the down time.
Later.
Mary update
July 10, 2014Time for an update on Mary. It’s been about a week and a half since we arrived back in San Pedro.
First a word about the trip. We got Mary loaded in to the rental car at Jordan Medical Center and headed on up the road to SLC International. I can’t say enough good things about Delta Airlines and the support staff at both SLC and LAX. I dropped Mary and Paula at the Sky Cap station. The Sky Cap got a chair for Mary while we waited for the wheel chair to arrive. Then I headed off to drop off the rental car. The wheel chair attendants at both SLC and LAX were patient with Mary. They made sure that she had an opportunity to use the bathroom. They got us on to the 737 ahead of the rest of the crowd.
One of the reasons we chose Delta rather than American was American flies commuter jets from LAX-SLC while Delta flies either 737 or 757. We figured 737 or 757 would be a lot easier to board. We booked our seats in first class. It wasn’t all that more expensive and it was worth it. Mary didn’t ask how much it cost and I didn’t tell her. Gin and tonic as soon as I sat down in my seat 2B. I could get used to that.
Mary is getting comfortable with using the walker. We’ve cleared out some of the junk in her bathroom so that all of the trip hazards are gone.
We took her to both OceanView Sr. Bible study on Wednesday and church services on Sunday. Everyone was happy to see her.
On Tuesday, Mike, Theresa and Jonathan were over for the usual Tuesday dinner. She looks forward to Tuesday family dinners, especially to a visit with great-grandson Jonathan. Beef stew. Mary has been raving on how good it was.
Sometimes, food can be a challenge. I never quite know what she’s going to like or not like.
This morning while Paula is working at the Assistance League Gift shop, we went for a short walk around the condo. It’s a pleasant sunny 80 degrees.
Paula will likely take her tomorrow to see Rosemarie for a hair wash and set.
We will probably be going to some OES functions this weekend. Receptions, meetings, etc. Usually Mary decides on the day of the event. In sports talk, it’s a game time decision. We try to go over our calendars to keep her aware about our activities. She has trouble remembering stuff, so getting her to write it down in her calendar helps.
For now, any travel is off the radar. We try to keep someone at home all the time. Paula and I managed to get out to an OES meeting on Monday, leaving Mary home alone. As time goes on we will feel more comfortable with leaving her alone. We have California Grand Chapter in late September. We’d like to go to see Roger N. installed as WGP, but we’ll just wait and see.
Later,
Joe
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calherewecome 