calherewecome

Okay, it’s been a while since I last gave an update. As many of you know, Paula and I are living with her mother here in Sunny California. It will be two years in August since we arrived here from Massachusetts.
 
 Mary is recovering nicely from here shoulder surgery in January. She just this week did her last physical therapy session. She could probably do more of the exercises that have been given her to do at home. She hasn’t had any falls since last December and that is a good thing. We have to be ever vigilant especially on steps and rough surfaces. She still is driving. Every once in a while she brings up the subject and we try to put off the subject. Eventually she forgets about it.
 
 Her short term memory is getting much worse. She has trouble remembering what day of the week it is. We have a calendar on the kitchen table that she can use to help track what she is doing (or supposed to be doing). We are continuing to try to keep our home safe from trip hazards. We are constantly reminding her to use her cane. We have warned her that the next fall might kill her.
 
 Mary and Paula just returned from a trip to Kansas for Mary’s high school reunion. Unfortunately her brother, sister-in-law and sister were unable to make the trip due to health reasons. But nevertheless she met with many of her cousins that she would not have otherwise seen. She doesn’t communicate well with her family. No writing, no phone calls, no email. If sometimes we make the call she will talk. So Paula and I have become the conduit for communication with her siblings.
 
 When our grandson Jonathan comes to visit her eyes just light up. Jonathan is 2 1/2 years old and is extremely cute. Those visits just make her day.
 
 Over the past couple of years we have managed to improve her diet. Before we arrived, her meals were few and far between. She said that she just wasn’t hungry. So we now have regular meals and get her to sit at the table and eat with us. Figuring out what she likes to eat though is a challenge. Managing the left overs in the refrigerator is also a problem. We usually go out to lunch after church. Mary usually eats about half of her meal and takes the rest home. Then we try to get her to eat the stuff that she brought home as well as other stuff before it spoils and needed to be thrown out.
 
 So next week we are driving to Salt Lake City to visit with our son Neil and attend his step-son’s graduation. So on the one hand Mary will be riding with us. So that means we don’t have to worry about her well being while we are gone, but she is a lousy traveller. I will need to manage two sets of room reservations and try to get her to help pay for some of the meals and other travel expenses. Actually, that’s a lot easier now, I just charge it on her credit card.
 
 That’s all for now. I hope to do a post while we are up in SLC.
 
 Later,
 
 Joe
 
 
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So yesterday at Ocean View we had a guest preacher who was preaching about marriage. After reading the title I was bracing myself for the harangue about same sex marriage, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was about the sacredness of marriage vows. It was more something I would expect to hear in a Roman Catholic Church. He was quoting from Malachi Chapter 2. But never mind.

This post is more about Mothers-in-law. Our own pastor at the end of the service told us a joke about Mothers-in-law. It goes something like this:

M-I-L to S-I-L: I would like to be cremated.

S-I-L to M-I-L: Okay, get your coat. Let’s go.

I told Pastor Jacques after the service, I feel your pain.

So as a Son-in-Law living with my Mother-in-Law, I try real hard to keep a thick skin and try to ignore the unintentional and intentional slights. Every day is a challenge.

So yesterday, Paula and I were planning on going to the movies to see “12 Years a Slave”. [By the way, it’s a great movie. Go see it.] We asked Mary K if she would like to come. Sometimes I hope for a “No” so that I can have some alone time with my Paula. But this time she said yes.

So off we go to the theater in Torrance. We hardly get a 1/2 mile from our house when she tells us that she forgot her glasses. So we are already on a tight schedule. So we don’t go back.

We find a parking space that is not too far from the theater. (Perhaps I need to try again to persuade her to apply for a HP placard.) We get out tickets and proceed to the theater. The lights are already down low for the upcoming attractions. We now find out that Mary K is now having really big problems with low light situations. The only place with three seats together is about 15 rows up.

I need to go into the row first to guide Mary K to her seat. So Mary K plops down between Paula and myself. So i can’t even sit next to my wife in the theater, arghhhh.

The film finishes and we wait for the credits to finish and for the house lights to come up so that we can get Mary K safely down the stairs without danger of falling.

As we head back to the car, we come to a curb that is painted red and is a contoured shape. Paula tries to get her to traverse the curb. It is clear that she can’t see it very well. So she stumbles and falls backward. Luckily we have a good hold on her and we manage her to a soft landing on her butt.

We finally get her back on her feet and back into the car. We stop for dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. Then finally home and after some news, into bed.

One more thing. Weather today is 75 and sunny. Not a cloud in the sky. I’m writing this sitting on the balcony. Paula and Mary K are off to her PT session. So I have about an hour of quiet time.

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