Time for an update on Mary. It has been a challenging week to be sure. She is doing okay. Not much change from the previous report. Physically, she is fine but she is still struggling with memory. No falls. She actually asked to use her walker a couple of nights ago.

Our word for today is “Probate”. Back on Monday, I made an appointment with Mary’s lawyer to update her will and related estate documents. She had done a full will package back in 2010 and I thought it would be prudent to review and update the package. So I made an appointment to meet with him on Thursday at 11 AM.

So when Thursday came along, she was coming up with all the excuses in the book as to why she couldn’t go to see the lawyer.2016-07-15 19.24.17 So she was digging in her heels. So Paula and I went without her. We brought all the documentation from the previous will. It was probably just as well. I pretty much knew what needed to be done. Having Mary with us would have just slowed the process down.

So right now, the only things that will get her out of the house are either her appointment to get her hair done or a doctor’s appointment. So in the future, I think I will schedule bank visits right after her hair appointment. That way I will already have her in the car and going places. Just one more stop. Laws of physics apply here, “A body in motion, tends to stay in motion”. So it is with Mary. Getting her to move in the first place is the hard part.

The previous will had our son Mike listed as the executor. I wanted to change the executors to be Paula and myself. Mike doesn’t have the time to deal with this stuff. The 2010 will was done when we were still on the East Coast and Mike was living in LA. It made sense at that time. Now, not so much.

We also asked our lawyer to look into her “living trust”. Mary’s condo deed is held by her family trust. So we need to be added as trustees to Mary’s family trust. This allows for the transfer of the title of the condo to pass to us after her death with a minimum of fuss. The last thing that we asked for was a “Durable Power of Attorney”. This would allow us to manage Mary’s personal affairs.

We will need to transfer her investments to the trust for the same reason. As it stands right now, her investment accounts don’t have any beneficiary named. That means that were she to die tomorrow, her investment accounts would be tied up in probate for a couple of years while we probated her will. Not a good thing. So we’re dealing with a new will, new durable power of attorney, trust doc’s, HIPPA documents, etc.

So I made a call to her investment account advisers to see whether or not a beneficiary had been named. So she has about six accounts set up with various bank’s investment companies. I suppose that having the multiple accounts spreads the risk, but it makes it a pain in the ass to deal with. Of course, she has no knowledge of any of the accounts. Eventually I will merge some of the accounts so that I am only dealing with a couple of accounts rather than 6-8.

So we should have a set of draft documents in a couple of weeks for our review. Then we will schedule the signing. At that time, I will bring the lawyer to her. Once I have updated trust documents, I should be able to do most of the changes to the investment accounts. The thing that gets this complicated is that most of her signatures will need to be notarized. More trips to the bank.

So the big question is why didn’t I start to do this a long time ago? No easy answers I suppose. It’s just a painful process to get all of the paperwork prepared, signed and notarized. I guess maybe that I had hoped that she had set up all of the accounts the right way in the first place and that we wouldn’t need to redo all of the estate documents. Sigh…

We’re off to the Greek Festival in Redondo Beach.






Explore posts in the same categories: Aging, Family, Mary

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