A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi…

I have been working on catching up on some posts that have been sitting in my ‘Draft’ folder for a while. I started this post about six months ago.

So Wednesday morning we have our senior Bible study at Ocean View Baptist Church. Sometimes, I think the group should be called “Ratholes’r’Us” but that’s another story. Now we can’t have a decent discussion about scripture with out food and drink, we are well provided for. We have muffins, home made cookies, coffee (both regular and decaf), and many other tasty treats.

So recently we have been studying the Acts of the Apostles and we are now on the tail end of chapter 27 (which is the getting close to the end). So in Chap 27 we find Paul aboard a ship heading to Rome. Travelling by ship in the first century AD was a perilous undertaking. So for someone to travel from the coast of Asia you either walked or you took a ship. If you walked, you had better have a centurion or two to protect you on the way.

So at the end of Chapter 27, Paul has been captured and is being transported back to Rome. While on the way, things get a little bit dicey and the crew is shipwrecked. Here is the last few verses of chapter 27,

[39] Now when it was day, they did not recognize the land, but they noticed a bay with a beach, on which they planned if possible to run the ship ashore. [40] So they cast off the anchors and left them in the sea, at the same time loosening the ropes that tied the rudders. Then hoisting the foresail to the wind they made for the beach. [41] But striking a reef, they ran the vessel aground. The bow stuck and remained immovable, and the stern was being broken up by the surf. [42] The soldiers’ plan was to kill the prisoners, lest any should swim away and escape. [43] But the centurion, wishing to save Paul, kept them from carrying out their plan. He ordered those who could swim to jump overboard first and make for the land, [44] and the rest on planks or on pieces of the ship. And so it was that all were brought safely to land.

So at our Bible Study, things are going good. We are managing to make it through the chapter. But no, someone has to ask,  “what about the life preservers?” Wasn’t there a joke about life preservers and  members of the clergy in a life boat. So I promised to do some research on this important point of our study. Searching for life preserver jokes was considerably harder than I thought,

As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, “Anyone here know how to pray?” One man stepped forward. “Aye, Captain, I know how to pray.” “Good,” said the captain, “you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets – we’re one short.”

I did find an amusing parachute joke with several variations.

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a pastor were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and then he bailed out. Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining.

The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out. The lawyer then said, “I’m a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live.” He also grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The priest looked at the little boy and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.” The little boy handed the parachute back to the pastor and said, “Not to worry, Pastor. The ‘smartest man in the world’ just took off with my back pack

There you have it.

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