Mary

It’s time for another post about Mary. Every once in a while, the topic of nursing homes comes up between Paula and me, especially after we have had a frustrating few days at home. It all started at dinner on Monday. On the first and third Monday evenings we all go to our Eastern Star (OES) meetings in San Pedro.

On those nights, we usually have a pizza for dinner. So Mary asks us, “What’s this?” and “how do I eat it?” Once again, we patiently explain for the hundredth time what pizza is and how to eat it.

2018-02-22 18.45.45So she is sitting at the dining room table in her PJ’s. She had basically slept all day until 5:30 PM. We tried to get her to hurry up and finish so we could then get her to get dressed. “Why do I have to go?” she says. Because we don’t want to leave you alone.

So we eventually get her dressed and we get on our way to the lodge building. So, here’s the $64K question, do we give up on getting her out to meet with her friends? Or, do we look for a regular sitter for the evenings when we need (or want) to go out?

At this point, she usually doesn’t go to church or Senior Bible study. The only other events that she goes to are to get her hair done on Friday’s and the monthly luncheon at Assistance League in SP.

We are considering getting a sitter for the Mondays for OES meetings. Maybe for all Mondays, that way we can go to the movies (or something) when we are not going to OES meetings.

We’re not quite ready for a nursing home, but the time might be coming soon. Nursing homes cost big bucks. We can afford a lot of sitters before we get anywhere close to what nursing homes cost.

Here’s another issue we are facing. It seems that she is eating less and less. She rarely finishes the portions that we put on her plate. And we always put less on her plate than for Paula and me. We seem to think that maybe she is unconsciously starving her self. There is nothing that we are planning to do about it except encourage her to eat. We try to have meals that she likes and are easy for her to eat.

And one more thing, a couple of years ago the three of us went to an event put on by an elder lawyer by the name of Susan Geffen. She has run seminars that present various elder agencies and service companies to talk about their offerings. She is the author of a book called “Take That Nursing Home and Shove It“. It’s worth reading.

TTFN

Joe

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