Unitarian Holiday Greeting

I received this greeting many years ago. I don’t know who wrote it. For my readers who might be humor impaired, this is a joke. The internet is loaded with Unitarian humor. It seems that Unitarian/Universalists (Or UU’s for short) are often the butt of a joke.

Here’s a link to some UU humor. Go ahead, click on the link.

To My Friends and Family,

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low
stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter
solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of
the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your
choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all . . .and a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of
the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due
respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to
imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or
is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard
to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith,
choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies
no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is
warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of
good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher.)

Happy Holidays, (or whatever you choose to celebrate.)

Explore posts in the same categories: Humor

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