Archive for the ‘Humor’ category

My Favorite Internet Myths

August 11, 2014

So I am on Facebook fairly often and usually someone posts something that is just not true. Perhaps someone read an email from a friend of a friend of a friend. Usually there is no real attribution from a real news source.

Over the years, I have often tried to educate my FB friends to check the veracity (or as Stephen Colbert would call it “Truthiness”) of an email story. As always, I recommend checking Snopes.com as the definitive source for truthiness of internet myths. Or before the internet came along, urban myths.

Snopes.com was started (and continues to be run) by Barbara and David Mikkelson of California. Here’s the wikipedia entry.

Here are a few of my favorite internet/urban myths:

The Well to Hell

Geologists working somewhere in remote Siberia had drilled a hole some 14.4 kilometers deep (about 9 miles) when the drill bit suddenly began to rotate wildly. A Mr. Azzacov (identified as the project’s manager) was quoted as saying they decided that the center of the earth was hollow.

Supposedly, the geologists measured temperatures of over 2,000 degrees in the deep hole. They lowered super sensitive microphones to the bottom of the well, and to their astonishment they heard the sounds of thousands, perhaps millions, of suffering souls screaming.

Well of course this is not true. Here is the link to Snopes.

Skyway to Heaven

I was raised a Southern Baptist and twice now a preacher has made reference to airlines pairing their pilots with one Christian (or saved)and one non-Christian (or un-saved). This is done on the pre-text that if and when the 2nd coming of Christ happens and the one Christian pilot is taken into the clouds with Christ, leaving the non-Christian pilot to supposedly land the plane safely alone. One preacher specifically mentioned American Airlines as having this policy.

Also not true. See Snopes.

So many goofy stories, so little time. I could spend all day looking through this stuff. So just one more and then you will just have to go to snopes.com on your own and browse the nuttiness.

Jeter Signs with Red Sox

The franchise player Derek Jeter is sure to disappoint every New York Yankee fan in the world after deciding not to retire after this baseball season. One of their star players for years, Jeter has signed a multi-year deal with Yankees rival the Boston Red Sox.

According to sources, Boston has been eyeing the possibility of picking up Jeter since he announced he would retire after this year, his 20th season in the MLB. Reportedly, the deal will make him an additional $25 million a year for the 3 years of his contract.

As they say on the internet, ROTFLMAO. No true Red Sox fan (or Yankee fan, for that matter) would believe this. It is so bogus. Here’s the pointer.

So, gentle reader, if you are reading something on your email or Facebook or Twitter, that doesn’t mean it’s true. Before you go and post it to all of your friends (and make yourself  look stupid), go visit snopes.com and check it out.

Unitarian Holiday Greeting

December 20, 2013

I received this greeting many years ago. I don’t know who wrote it. For my readers who might be humor impaired, this is a joke. The internet is loaded with Unitarian humor. It seems that Unitarian/Universalists (Or UU’s for short) are often the butt of a joke.

Here’s a link to some UU humor. Go ahead, click on the link.

To My Friends and Family,

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low
stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter
solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of
the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your
choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or
traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all . . .and a fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of
the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due
respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to
imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or
is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard
to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith,
choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies
no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for
her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is
warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of
good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is
limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher.)

Happy Holidays, (or whatever you choose to celebrate.)